Like Mr. Pitts, I'm feeling a bit daunted.
I found out this week that I should write three chapters of my dissertation by December 1 if I want to defend my proposal by the end of the semester. The proposal defense is the last hoop standing between me and my research. When my advisor told me, I thought he was kidding. Nope. Apparently these three chapters make up the dissertation proposal. There is a difference between saying "three chapters" and saying "proposal" don't you think? Apparently I have much of the work done from my A-exam papers, so that's good news. Somehow I still feel it's all a bit daunting!
The major issue is that I am struggling to get back into work mode. I need to get back to my A-exam schedule, which has been tough. I think I'm just kind of burned out, though it's way too early for me to be burned out! I have three weeks, basically. I just have to get my mind back into it. I can do it!
Things continue to be a bit off. My friend's mom is still in the hospital, though she seems to be doing better. The first round of lay-offs hit TMH's company, and one of his good friends was let go. That was sad and a bit scary. My work has been unusual and busy. Busy is the norm but I have been busy with unusual things, I guess. TMH and I haven't been able to make any winter break plans because of his schedule and my uncertainty about my proposal. At least we have Thanksgiving plans set. We are both looking forward to going to TMH's parents' house. All of his siblings will be home, and of course the big draw is my future niece. She's super cute and growing up quickly! We are both excited about that trip, at least.
In other good news we have started planning a bit more for the wedding. I am getting excited about bringing my close friends and family together. We may win a prize for the number of people who come from far away for our big day. I am especially touched because my cousin M in Australia is so excited to be a part of the wedding. My relationship with her really means a lot to me. In any case, it's nice to have such a happy occasion to distract me.
But for now I am sitting in TMH's apartment (so good to have gotten away from the craziness at school and to see him again!) with a day of writing ahead of me, feeling a bit daunted. Wish me luck!
Showing posts with label A-exams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A-exams. Show all posts
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Some people will say you are going the wrong way...
when it is simply a way of your own.
This was the caption in the congratulations card that TMH sent me last week. I love it. Unlike those who started out with a clear plan, I have been meandering around for a while, but I am making my own road, and look at where I am ending up!
I can't believe it's Friday again, and it's been almost two weeks since I passed my exams.
I took it easy the first week, which seems only reasonable. Unfortunately my job made it hard for me to take it too easy... which, again, seems mostly reasonable. I got to catch up with some good friends, and start thinking a bit more about the wedding, which is definitely exciting! TMH came to visit last weekend and we celebrated. I felt like we had a mini vacation.... well-deserved for both of us, to be sure.
This week has been really unusual:
1. I can't seem to get my committee to pay any attention to me (this in itself is not unusual!). Despite my success, I am on a time line and I need to move forward with my proposal. I have to get the proposal defense done so that I can start my research next semester. The only person concerned about my time line is me so I have to continue to be determined and push things through! It's an uphill battle, but I am fighting it. It's fun to read the PhD attrition statistics: students with my profile (older, female, working, after completing exams/coursework) are at high risk for dropping out, and I can understand why! It doesn't help that my whole life is contingent on the proposal defense right now. It will affect my winter break plans as well as my plans for next semester. I know I will figure it out, like I always do, though. I just haven't done it yet. For once I need some guidance, so I have to make sure my committee comes through for me.
2. We have a new president! The world has changed. Of course the beginning of this week was taken up by much attention to the elections. I was so happy to see the results, particularly with the changes going on in the South. It's an exciting time, for sure!
3. Despite such excitement, we are living in scary economic times. TMH will be hearing about lay offs in his company soon. He said there is no point in getting worried; nothing we can do but see what happens. I hope the new president and the renewed feeling of hope will help us move forward out of the serious mess we are in now.
4. A good friend's mother is in the hospital. I spent much of Wednesday night in the ER with her. It was pretty scary. She is OK for now, which is good news. It was actually my first time to visit the hospital here... definitely an eye-opening experience. Her trip to the ER coincided with my own mother's cataract surgery (my mom is convinced she's going to lose her vision, since she is the ultimate worrier; so far she seems OK). Of course my mom's situation is much different from my friend's, but we definitely have some things in common. Being the only child/only daughter with an aging mother is quite an overwhelming and emotional responsibility. I was just glad I could be there for my friend, and of course I will continue to be there for her as her mom goes down this road. So in addition to everything else, this was a week to think about mothers and daughters. I really miss my mom and look forward to seeing her over Christmas.
In any case, it's time to get back at it as I strive to move forward. I am making my own road, people. Look out!
This was the caption in the congratulations card that TMH sent me last week. I love it. Unlike those who started out with a clear plan, I have been meandering around for a while, but I am making my own road, and look at where I am ending up!
I can't believe it's Friday again, and it's been almost two weeks since I passed my exams.
I took it easy the first week, which seems only reasonable. Unfortunately my job made it hard for me to take it too easy... which, again, seems mostly reasonable. I got to catch up with some good friends, and start thinking a bit more about the wedding, which is definitely exciting! TMH came to visit last weekend and we celebrated. I felt like we had a mini vacation.... well-deserved for both of us, to be sure.
This week has been really unusual:
1. I can't seem to get my committee to pay any attention to me (this in itself is not unusual!). Despite my success, I am on a time line and I need to move forward with my proposal. I have to get the proposal defense done so that I can start my research next semester. The only person concerned about my time line is me so I have to continue to be determined and push things through! It's an uphill battle, but I am fighting it. It's fun to read the PhD attrition statistics: students with my profile (older, female, working, after completing exams/coursework) are at high risk for dropping out, and I can understand why! It doesn't help that my whole life is contingent on the proposal defense right now. It will affect my winter break plans as well as my plans for next semester. I know I will figure it out, like I always do, though. I just haven't done it yet. For once I need some guidance, so I have to make sure my committee comes through for me.
2. We have a new president! The world has changed. Of course the beginning of this week was taken up by much attention to the elections. I was so happy to see the results, particularly with the changes going on in the South. It's an exciting time, for sure!
3. Despite such excitement, we are living in scary economic times. TMH will be hearing about lay offs in his company soon. He said there is no point in getting worried; nothing we can do but see what happens. I hope the new president and the renewed feeling of hope will help us move forward out of the serious mess we are in now.
4. A good friend's mother is in the hospital. I spent much of Wednesday night in the ER with her. It was pretty scary. She is OK for now, which is good news. It was actually my first time to visit the hospital here... definitely an eye-opening experience. Her trip to the ER coincided with my own mother's cataract surgery (my mom is convinced she's going to lose her vision, since she is the ultimate worrier; so far she seems OK). Of course my mom's situation is much different from my friend's, but we definitely have some things in common. Being the only child/only daughter with an aging mother is quite an overwhelming and emotional responsibility. I was just glad I could be there for my friend, and of course I will continue to be there for her as her mom goes down this road. So in addition to everything else, this was a week to think about mothers and daughters. I really miss my mom and look forward to seeing her over Christmas.
In any case, it's time to get back at it as I strive to move forward. I am making my own road, people. Look out!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I DID IT! A very big day...
Today I officially became a PhD candidate. And I got an MS! OMG. I had no idea I was going to get that extra degree. I guess it doesn't matter much, except when you say, "oh yeah, I got an extra Master's today." OK. Um, awesome. No matter what happens, I have my MS from this school now. Yippeee..... but as my advisor said, I can't leave. What I am trying to do is too important.
After my full eight weeks of preparation, and lots and lots of work and writing, I went into a room, talked for a while, and came out a star. Well, they asked me to leave and then when they invited me back in they all shook my hand and said what a good job I had done (!)... how well-written my work was, how excited they am to see me carry it out. They assured me that I have a daunting task ahead, but the important part is that they have no doubt that I am up for the challenge. They enthusiastically signed all the paperwork to advance me to candidacy and tell me how fantastic I am.... how I should try to publish the work I have done so far, how I should try to present it.
You have no idea what an amazing feeling that was. After weeks of imagining the exam, the day, how it would be, all of a sudden they were shaking my hand. PMP, PhD Candidate. WOO HOO. After so much worrying and speculating and all the emotions in between, I lived the day, October 27, and look at what happened!
So there you have it. I want to thank all my friends who have been so supportive throughout this process... I couldn't have done it without you. I particularly want to thank my friend S, who said it was lame for me to go home and order food on a night like tonight, and took me out to eat on campus. Yay, S! I want to thank TMH for his patience and his confidence. He makes things just that much easier for me. And I want to thank my parents for their love and support... and inspiration. And of course I want to thank the Academy.... LOL!
I know I have a lot of work ahead, but look at me, I'm doing it. Go PMP!
After my full eight weeks of preparation, and lots and lots of work and writing, I went into a room, talked for a while, and came out a star. Well, they asked me to leave and then when they invited me back in they all shook my hand and said what a good job I had done (!)... how well-written my work was, how excited they am to see me carry it out. They assured me that I have a daunting task ahead, but the important part is that they have no doubt that I am up for the challenge. They enthusiastically signed all the paperwork to advance me to candidacy and tell me how fantastic I am.... how I should try to publish the work I have done so far, how I should try to present it.
You have no idea what an amazing feeling that was. After weeks of imagining the exam, the day, how it would be, all of a sudden they were shaking my hand. PMP, PhD Candidate. WOO HOO. After so much worrying and speculating and all the emotions in between, I lived the day, October 27, and look at what happened!
So there you have it. I want to thank all my friends who have been so supportive throughout this process... I couldn't have done it without you. I particularly want to thank my friend S, who said it was lame for me to go home and order food on a night like tonight, and took me out to eat on campus. Yay, S! I want to thank TMH for his patience and his confidence. He makes things just that much easier for me. And I want to thank my parents for their love and support... and inspiration. And of course I want to thank the Academy.... LOL!
I know I have a lot of work ahead, but look at me, I'm doing it. Go PMP!
Monday, October 20, 2008
The best dog show ever
Last week TMH told me he got me a surprise for finishing the writing of my exams, and that he would give it to me on the weekend. I asked him if maybe he wanted to wait to give it to me until I actually passed my exams (that date, 10/27, is still looming, and you know I can be superstitious, and often prefer delayed gratification). He said no, I had to get it on the weekend, and I should be proud of myself for finishing the writing. OK.
So, on Saturday we had a nice morning... relaxed for a while and then went for a short hike to enjoy the beautiful fall colors. It really was gorgeous. The hike also gave us a chance to talk some about the future. Well, the future meaning next year, my plans, and a bit about the wedding. I feel a lot better. Nothing really new happened, it was just nice to have some time together to actually talk. We've been so busy that we really haven't! TMH always makes me feel better, which bodes well for our relationship, I think. [We decided, as of the information I have right now, that I should stay here and keep my job and my apartment until May. We'll plan to find a place to move into together on June 1. I will also try to have a more flexible schedule next semester so I can go there for longer periods of time, which will be good for my relationship and my research.]
Anyway, I digress. He said we had to be ready to go somewhere at 3:00 for my surprise. So we left the house at 3:00 and I had no idea where we were going. We got on the train and I continued to speculate. A show? Nope, we passed the theater district. A cruise? Nope, we weren't headed to the water. Then we got on a train that I knew TMH had never been on before and I was really stumped. I still didn't get it when we got off the train... but we started walking with a big crowd to an exposition center. At which point I saw that the banner said something about a dog show. So, I asked "TMH, are we going to a dog show?" "Yes! Yes, PMP," he said. "A dog show." Hmmm. Well that seemed weird. I mean, why would going to a dog show be a surprise for me? But TMH does love that movie Best in Show ["We both like soup. We could talk, or not talk for hours."] So I went with it. I mean, he was surprising me, how could I question it? At the same time I saw a sign for Cirque du Soleil. Hmm. So I said, "TMH, are we going to CDS?" "No," he said, "why would we do that? I would much rather go to a dog show." Um, OK. But as we walked and walked with the group of people, it seemed very much like we were going to CDS. I still believed him, though, until we got to the tent and he said, "PMP, why would I take you to a dog show?" Hah! I'm gullible, I know.
The show was really amazing. I had never seen anything like it before. The performers were unbelievable: it was just so good! I couldn't believe he took me. So, yes, I'm a lucky woman. Lucky, lucky. We had such a wonderful weekend, and now I am back at school, trying to mentally prepare myself for the stressful weeks ahead. I just better make sure I pass my exam next Monday, especially since I already got my surprise!
So, on Saturday we had a nice morning... relaxed for a while and then went for a short hike to enjoy the beautiful fall colors. It really was gorgeous. The hike also gave us a chance to talk some about the future. Well, the future meaning next year, my plans, and a bit about the wedding. I feel a lot better. Nothing really new happened, it was just nice to have some time together to actually talk. We've been so busy that we really haven't! TMH always makes me feel better, which bodes well for our relationship, I think. [We decided, as of the information I have right now, that I should stay here and keep my job and my apartment until May. We'll plan to find a place to move into together on June 1. I will also try to have a more flexible schedule next semester so I can go there for longer periods of time, which will be good for my relationship and my research.]
Anyway, I digress. He said we had to be ready to go somewhere at 3:00 for my surprise. So we left the house at 3:00 and I had no idea where we were going. We got on the train and I continued to speculate. A show? Nope, we passed the theater district. A cruise? Nope, we weren't headed to the water. Then we got on a train that I knew TMH had never been on before and I was really stumped. I still didn't get it when we got off the train... but we started walking with a big crowd to an exposition center. At which point I saw that the banner said something about a dog show. So, I asked "TMH, are we going to a dog show?" "Yes! Yes, PMP," he said. "A dog show." Hmmm. Well that seemed weird. I mean, why would going to a dog show be a surprise for me? But TMH does love that movie Best in Show ["We both like soup. We could talk, or not talk for hours."] So I went with it. I mean, he was surprising me, how could I question it? At the same time I saw a sign for Cirque du Soleil. Hmm. So I said, "TMH, are we going to CDS?" "No," he said, "why would we do that? I would much rather go to a dog show." Um, OK. But as we walked and walked with the group of people, it seemed very much like we were going to CDS. I still believed him, though, until we got to the tent and he said, "PMP, why would I take you to a dog show?" Hah! I'm gullible, I know.
The show was really amazing. I had never seen anything like it before. The performers were unbelievable: it was just so good! I couldn't believe he took me. So, yes, I'm a lucky woman. Lucky, lucky. We had such a wonderful weekend, and now I am back at school, trying to mentally prepare myself for the stressful weeks ahead. I just better make sure I pass my exam next Monday, especially since I already got my surprise!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
And on a more triumphant note...
...I have turned in my exam questions!
My 6-week and several day process has now come to an end. It's hard to believe, really. I wish I felt happier. Maybe I'm just exhausted, or maybe it won't hit me until my official exam, on October 27. At least I have some time now to get ready for that. I realized while writing my preliminary proposal that I have some kinks to work out... and I hope that's OK since this was my PRELIMINARY proposal. I felt the need to highlight that word for my committee. I don't want them judging my readiness based on the current proposal alone... even though I think they understand, it's always good to make sure. My official proposal defense is the hoop that comes after the A-exam, the final hoop standing between me and my freedom (to do research and other things). I hope to be ready for that in December or January. I think I have a good start here... hopefully my committee will agree, and I am ready to sell it!
So for now I can take a breath. Tomorrow I am just going to go to work and come home like a normal person, which is amazingly exciting! I have a lot to catch up on for work. And then Thursday morning I'll go to work again, and then Thursday afternoon I'll be off to see TMH. It will be great to see him; I miss him more than normal. It's been longer than usual since we've seen each other because I went to a wedding on the weekend that he couldn't attend.
So, I did manage to do it all! I finished my exams (until Oct 27), I went to a wonderful wedding (my grad school friends) and now TMH and I will have some time to relax and talk and maybe even ponder the future this weekend. Whew!
My 6-week and several day process has now come to an end. It's hard to believe, really. I wish I felt happier. Maybe I'm just exhausted, or maybe it won't hit me until my official exam, on October 27. At least I have some time now to get ready for that. I realized while writing my preliminary proposal that I have some kinks to work out... and I hope that's OK since this was my PRELIMINARY proposal. I felt the need to highlight that word for my committee. I don't want them judging my readiness based on the current proposal alone... even though I think they understand, it's always good to make sure. My official proposal defense is the hoop that comes after the A-exam, the final hoop standing between me and my freedom (to do research and other things). I hope to be ready for that in December or January. I think I have a good start here... hopefully my committee will agree, and I am ready to sell it!
So for now I can take a breath. Tomorrow I am just going to go to work and come home like a normal person, which is amazingly exciting! I have a lot to catch up on for work. And then Thursday morning I'll go to work again, and then Thursday afternoon I'll be off to see TMH. It will be great to see him; I miss him more than normal. It's been longer than usual since we've seen each other because I went to a wedding on the weekend that he couldn't attend.
So, I did manage to do it all! I finished my exams (until Oct 27), I went to a wonderful wedding (my grad school friends) and now TMH and I will have some time to relax and talk and maybe even ponder the future this weekend. Whew!
Monday, October 6, 2008
What made me smile today....
After reading the heartwarming story of how this old school a cappella group is about to hit the big time... (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/arts/music/05rapk.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink) I had to go have a listen.
What can I say. I'm a nerd. Or maybe I was channeling Andy from The Office. Or maybe it's because my dad loves this song.... which is ridiculous but still somehow fun. Just try listening without smiling: I dare you.
In any case, these guys can sing! If you are inspired, you should check out the sitcom medley too:
Talk about a blast from the past!
Yeah, otherwise Monday was Monday. I did have my annual exam this morning (always fun times!), and I learned that I am borderline anemic. I'm reassured to know that I'm not just tired because I'm a grad student, I need more iron! Then I found out that coffee interferes with iron absorption. That's great to know, since I always take my vitamin in the morning with my cereal and my COFFEE. LOL. At least now I can amend my habits....Life cereal and vitamins in the evening, here I come!
Anyway, I was productive earlier, I promise (you might have been noticing that me getting inspired by random a cappella groups and rambling about my health like an old lady is not helping me finish my exams).
Time to call it a day, I think, so I can start again tomorrow. "Nothing's gonna stand in my way!"
Sunday, October 5, 2008
It's time to move on.... it's time to get going...
...what lies ahead I have no way of knowing.
I know, it's been a long time. As you might expect (or know already) these exams have been kinda kicking my butt. I am just ready to be done! But I am doing it. Slow and steady wins the race, you know. This process is very much like a marathon, and I am in the home stretch now. Just for the record, as of today I have turned in 70 pages of text (30, 30 and 10). I am on the last part now. My goal is to turn it in on Friday morning before I head out of town for my good friend's wedding. Ah... the end is in sight!
A few developments since my last (long ago) post:
1. I had to deal with university bureaucracy that almost sent me over the edge. Only it didn't. I can't have my official oral exam (where they grill me on what I wrote) on the original date because my 3rd committee member won't be official until 2 days later (because of some weird university rules). 48 hours- ridiculous! It sounds like no big deal now, but at the time it was definitely a drama, involving me running around all over campus trying to navigate the system. So, my exam is now scheduled for October 27. That gives my committee an extra week to read my stuff, and me more time to stress about it. I guess it also gives me more time to get ready, too, but you know these things always take as long as you let them. Hopefully everything will go smoothly between now and then and my 3rd committee member really will become official. The irony was not lost on any of my committee: my project is entitled "Navigating Graduate School:... yadda yadda yadda" and here I am, living it. It takes experiential learning a little to the extreme if you ask me. One of the perils of studying organizational behavior, too. Organizations (and specifically universities) are dysfunctional... not really a shocker. It really makes me appreciate how hard things must be on my students.... hence, my dissertation topic. At least it all connects.
2. I have become incredibly fired up about Sarah Palin. Enough said. At least she (and Tina Fey) are keeping things lively in the news at the moment. Of course it will no longer be amusing if she actually becomes VP. We just all have to hope. And not be too scared that she is actually on TV saying the things that she says. My favorite quote from last night's SNL skit- "I believe marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers." Awesome. She's such an ignorant hypocrite, and she stands to take women back decades in their progress. So let's all just make sure McCain stays in the Senate and she stays up there in Alaska where she belongs.
3. On a lighter note in that regard, Palin did provide me with inspiration for Halloween. Yep, I'm going to be her. Just get me some Tina Fey glasses, peach lipstick and a flag pin and I'll be all set. I've been practicing my lingo: doggone it, bless their hearts, and you betcha'. I can see Russia from my house.
4. I realize that I hate people who talk in the library. I have become like an old curmudgeon. But honestly, when did it become acceptable to chat loudly with others, on cell phones, etc., in the libary?????? It is super annoying. And rude. And disrespectful. I mean, I can't stay in my apartment all the time. Aren't libraries supposed to be quiet places to read and ponder? I miss the mean librarians from back in the day. At least back then people shut up already.
5. I had drama with my class this semester. I guess I was due for a dud class, but was hoping not to have to deal with something extra during this already stressful time. Every class is like pulling teeth. We had a talk and cleared the air in Thursday's class, though, so hopefully things will go more smoothly. I was afraid people would assume that I was neglecting my class because of my exams, when in actuality I have spent more time on it than usual because they are such pains in my butt! There is no worse feeling for me than feeling like a bad teacher. I realized that I am doing all the good teacher things I always do, and now it is up to them to step up.
6. I freaked out a little bit about what comes next. I really am not sure what lies ahead. For the most part I have been doing a good job at taking things one step at a time. After I finish this I will be able to think a bit more about the details of my research plans, moving to TMH, planning a wedding, and all of the exciting (but terrifying) next steps.
Otherwise, I really do love October. The weather is beautiful and baseball is exciting (Go Sox!). It's really an important time for me, and even though the next steps are kind of uncertain, I do have to acknowledge that I'm lucky, and I'm in a pretty good spot. On that note, it's time to get back to it!
I know, it's been a long time. As you might expect (or know already) these exams have been kinda kicking my butt. I am just ready to be done! But I am doing it. Slow and steady wins the race, you know. This process is very much like a marathon, and I am in the home stretch now. Just for the record, as of today I have turned in 70 pages of text (30, 30 and 10). I am on the last part now. My goal is to turn it in on Friday morning before I head out of town for my good friend's wedding. Ah... the end is in sight!
A few developments since my last (long ago) post:
1. I had to deal with university bureaucracy that almost sent me over the edge. Only it didn't. I can't have my official oral exam (where they grill me on what I wrote) on the original date because my 3rd committee member won't be official until 2 days later (because of some weird university rules). 48 hours- ridiculous! It sounds like no big deal now, but at the time it was definitely a drama, involving me running around all over campus trying to navigate the system. So, my exam is now scheduled for October 27. That gives my committee an extra week to read my stuff, and me more time to stress about it. I guess it also gives me more time to get ready, too, but you know these things always take as long as you let them. Hopefully everything will go smoothly between now and then and my 3rd committee member really will become official. The irony was not lost on any of my committee: my project is entitled "Navigating Graduate School:... yadda yadda yadda" and here I am, living it. It takes experiential learning a little to the extreme if you ask me. One of the perils of studying organizational behavior, too. Organizations (and specifically universities) are dysfunctional... not really a shocker. It really makes me appreciate how hard things must be on my students.... hence, my dissertation topic. At least it all connects.
2. I have become incredibly fired up about Sarah Palin. Enough said. At least she (and Tina Fey) are keeping things lively in the news at the moment. Of course it will no longer be amusing if she actually becomes VP. We just all have to hope. And not be too scared that she is actually on TV saying the things that she says. My favorite quote from last night's SNL skit- "I believe marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers." Awesome. She's such an ignorant hypocrite, and she stands to take women back decades in their progress. So let's all just make sure McCain stays in the Senate and she stays up there in Alaska where she belongs.
3. On a lighter note in that regard, Palin did provide me with inspiration for Halloween. Yep, I'm going to be her. Just get me some Tina Fey glasses, peach lipstick and a flag pin and I'll be all set. I've been practicing my lingo: doggone it, bless their hearts, and you betcha'. I can see Russia from my house.
4. I realize that I hate people who talk in the library. I have become like an old curmudgeon. But honestly, when did it become acceptable to chat loudly with others, on cell phones, etc., in the libary?????? It is super annoying. And rude. And disrespectful. I mean, I can't stay in my apartment all the time. Aren't libraries supposed to be quiet places to read and ponder? I miss the mean librarians from back in the day. At least back then people shut up already.
5. I had drama with my class this semester. I guess I was due for a dud class, but was hoping not to have to deal with something extra during this already stressful time. Every class is like pulling teeth. We had a talk and cleared the air in Thursday's class, though, so hopefully things will go more smoothly. I was afraid people would assume that I was neglecting my class because of my exams, when in actuality I have spent more time on it than usual because they are such pains in my butt! There is no worse feeling for me than feeling like a bad teacher. I realized that I am doing all the good teacher things I always do, and now it is up to them to step up.
6. I freaked out a little bit about what comes next. I really am not sure what lies ahead. For the most part I have been doing a good job at taking things one step at a time. After I finish this I will be able to think a bit more about the details of my research plans, moving to TMH, planning a wedding, and all of the exciting (but terrifying) next steps.
Otherwise, I really do love October. The weather is beautiful and baseball is exciting (Go Sox!). It's really an important time for me, and even though the next steps are kind of uncertain, I do have to acknowledge that I'm lucky, and I'm in a pretty good spot. On that note, it's time to get back to it!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Ahoy, matey!
In my mid-exam delirium, I remembered that today (well, September 19, really; I can't believe it's already after midnight) is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Why? Just because it's fun. What a great concept. Saying "arrrrgh!" can be quite satifying, especially for someone in the middle of her exams. And you know, all pirates really say is "arrrgh." If you want to learn a few more words, check this out:
So, yeah, I'm at the midpoint: 3 weeks in, 3 weeks to go. I am more than halfway through my second question, which is right on target. Things have been a bit tough, especially this week (hence the predicted drop off in blogging) but all in all I am still feeling pretty proud of myself. I can do this! Today I finally managed to schedule the official oral exam date (where I will be grilled on all of this writing I am doing now). Getting three faculty in a room together at the same time is quite a challenge: like herding cats, some say. So, for the record, it will be Monday, October 20, from 10:00-12:00. So the countdown can really begin.
Somewhere in the middle of all of my stress, TMH and I managed to find a place and set a date for our wedding! The last weekend in September, 2009.... so excited! Stay tuned for more fun details.
There is so much more to report (re. wedding plans, annoying students, extended birthday excitement), but alas, I am exhausted. Want to hear some of the voices in my head?
-Avast, smartly, me lass... finish that A-exam.
-Aye aye!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear PMP, happy birthday to me!
I know I am jumping the gun a bit here, but in one hour and 41 minutes I will officially be 33, though I was born in England so who knows what that means about the real time. I like to use midnight as the start of my birthday, anyway.
It took me a while to figure out how old I was the other day. I guess that means I'm getting old. Either that or it just doesn't matter. I think such forgetfulness tends to occur in the early years of a decade. Does it matter if you are 32 or 33? Right. I thought not. So maybe I'm still 32.
I thought I would take a moment to commemorate my birthday. As I predicted, I have been consumed by my questions. Today I felt like I was going a little bit batty... I've been holed up in my apartment writing, with no human contact, for the past two days. So, there you have it. At least I am making good progress. I am on page 19, and I hope to turn in about 25 pages (my first finished question) on Friday. I am definitely past the half-way point with this one, anyway. (Right now I won't think about the three questions to come. One step at a time). I alternate between feeling accomplished and proud of my work and how far I've come in my scholarly endeavors... and feeling completely insecure and scared that my committee is going to laugh and say I'm not ready. A normal range of emotions, I'm sure. I will say I am impressed by my reference list. I was always in awe of long bibliographies.... until got a year into my PhD program. I have read a lot of stuff!
I know my birthday celebrations were really supposed to be last weekend, but I am saving a few things for tomorrow so I can at least briefly celebrate myself. I have one present from TMH that I haven't opened yet, three cards, and the promise of at least one more card to arrive tomorrow. So that's good. I have to go to work tomorrow, too, so that will be fun. At least I'll have some human contact (no offense to Gemini, but I don't really want to get a point where she starts talking back). I finally have my teaching/work schedule ironed out, so I know what time is mine and what time is theirs. I start teaching on Tuesday.
My friends here know my situation, but I don't think they'll let me be a complete hermit tomorrow. There just may have to be time for a post-work drink, or something. It's my birthday... and a big time for me! I am looking forward to an exciting and productive year ahead.
I know I am jumping the gun a bit here, but in one hour and 41 minutes I will officially be 33, though I was born in England so who knows what that means about the real time. I like to use midnight as the start of my birthday, anyway.
It took me a while to figure out how old I was the other day. I guess that means I'm getting old. Either that or it just doesn't matter. I think such forgetfulness tends to occur in the early years of a decade. Does it matter if you are 32 or 33? Right. I thought not. So maybe I'm still 32.
I thought I would take a moment to commemorate my birthday. As I predicted, I have been consumed by my questions. Today I felt like I was going a little bit batty... I've been holed up in my apartment writing, with no human contact, for the past two days. So, there you have it. At least I am making good progress. I am on page 19, and I hope to turn in about 25 pages (my first finished question) on Friday. I am definitely past the half-way point with this one, anyway. (Right now I won't think about the three questions to come. One step at a time). I alternate between feeling accomplished and proud of my work and how far I've come in my scholarly endeavors... and feeling completely insecure and scared that my committee is going to laugh and say I'm not ready. A normal range of emotions, I'm sure. I will say I am impressed by my reference list. I was always in awe of long bibliographies.... until got a year into my PhD program. I have read a lot of stuff!
I know my birthday celebrations were really supposed to be last weekend, but I am saving a few things for tomorrow so I can at least briefly celebrate myself. I have one present from TMH that I haven't opened yet, three cards, and the promise of at least one more card to arrive tomorrow. So that's good. I have to go to work tomorrow, too, so that will be fun. At least I'll have some human contact (no offense to Gemini, but I don't really want to get a point where she starts talking back). I finally have my teaching/work schedule ironed out, so I know what time is mine and what time is theirs. I start teaching on Tuesday.
My friends here know my situation, but I don't think they'll let me be a complete hermit tomorrow. There just may have to be time for a post-work drink, or something. It's my birthday... and a big time for me! I am looking forward to an exciting and productive year ahead.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Test me
Normally I tell people not to test me... they might be upset by what happens. But in this case I have no choice. I have officially started my A-exams, which are supposed to show that I am ready to be a scholar in my field, and that I am sufficiently versed in all the major streams of literature related to my work. They are the big obstacle standing between me and my research right now. Me and my future. Me and the next step. You get the idea.
TMH was here on the weekend, and we had a fantastic time. The weekend existed as sort of a buffer between me getting back and getting organized and actually getting to work on my exams. It was perfect. We had a party for my birthday and for our engagement on Saturday night for our friends here, which was lots of fun. It was great having him here... maybe I'll even get some pictures up at some point.
Then he left and I started my exams. Well, first I freaked out, cried (as per usual, though this time seemed a little more desperate), and rearranged my entire apartment. I love it! I have set up a new workspace in front of my sliding glass doors in the living room, and I still have my desk in front of the window in the my bedroom. It feels like a whole new place. I figured it's good to be excited about it, since I will be spending a lot of time working in here over the next 8 weeks. This is the first time I have rearranged in two years of living here, too, so it was needed. Once I figured out that the television actually could go in another spot, I was all set.
Anyway, my questions are challenging, but fair. They are appropriate and useful. I think I will feel accomplished when I finish them... so overall my reaction has been good so far. I am just a little concerned about managing my time and getting them done. I have to balance reading and writing, and I am supposed to spend two weeks on each of them. I also have to figure out how to do them and manage my work schedule. I know I can do it. I think the key is just sticking to a routine. Many people seem to go underground for this time period (which is why wedding planning will certainly not start until after I'm done). So don't be surprised if my blogging drops off a bit. I blog for my own sanity, though, so we'll see. Plus, I can't have my loyal readers getting too lonely. Wish me luck in my scholarly quest! All I keep saying is, "we'll see how it goes." We certainly will.
TMH was here on the weekend, and we had a fantastic time. The weekend existed as sort of a buffer between me getting back and getting organized and actually getting to work on my exams. It was perfect. We had a party for my birthday and for our engagement on Saturday night for our friends here, which was lots of fun. It was great having him here... maybe I'll even get some pictures up at some point.
Then he left and I started my exams. Well, first I freaked out, cried (as per usual, though this time seemed a little more desperate), and rearranged my entire apartment. I love it! I have set up a new workspace in front of my sliding glass doors in the living room, and I still have my desk in front of the window in the my bedroom. It feels like a whole new place. I figured it's good to be excited about it, since I will be spending a lot of time working in here over the next 8 weeks. This is the first time I have rearranged in two years of living here, too, so it was needed. Once I figured out that the television actually could go in another spot, I was all set.
Anyway, my questions are challenging, but fair. They are appropriate and useful. I think I will feel accomplished when I finish them... so overall my reaction has been good so far. I am just a little concerned about managing my time and getting them done. I have to balance reading and writing, and I am supposed to spend two weeks on each of them. I also have to figure out how to do them and manage my work schedule. I know I can do it. I think the key is just sticking to a routine. Many people seem to go underground for this time period (which is why wedding planning will certainly not start until after I'm done). So don't be surprised if my blogging drops off a bit. I blog for my own sanity, though, so we'll see. Plus, I can't have my loyal readers getting too lonely. Wish me luck in my scholarly quest! All I keep saying is, "we'll see how it goes." We certainly will.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)