The Perfect Weekend

We had it!

At long last, a hot, sunny, beachy weekend where we had nothing to do but lie in the sun and swim in the ocean. Oh, and eat seafood, and sleep, and read, and walk on the beach.... see how happy we were? It was our third year visiting this particular beach, and every year we love it more. We find new places, and we revisit our old favorites. It is so nice to be developing such traditions!

This weekend was made all the more significant because:
1. It was our one year anniversary of being engaged. We celebrated last year in the same place, in much the same way.
2. It was the first time we've had any kind of break or day off together since May.
3. It was the first time it was actually warm enough to go swimming all summer. Our usual May beach fix was cold and rainy this year, so we had to wait until August. That's OK. We had it.

I am trying hard to fight the post-break depression, made all the worse by my fear and anxiety about my dissertation, and my complete uncertainty about my employment for fall. As for the dissertation, clearly I just have to do it. And I will. As far as employment, I am still optimistic that things are going to work out, but they are still quite nebulous. I'd like to nail a few things down.... but such is life. Fingers crossed....keep moving forward.

Test me

Normally I tell people not to test me... they might be upset by what happens. But in this case I have no choice. I have officially started my A-exams, which are supposed to show that I am ready to be a scholar in my field, and that I am sufficiently versed in all the major streams of literature related to my work. They are the big obstacle standing between me and my research right now. Me and my future. Me and the next step. You get the idea.

TMH was here on the weekend, and we had a fantastic time. The weekend existed as sort of a buffer between me getting back and getting organized and actually getting to work on my exams. It was perfect. We had a party for my birthday and for our engagement on Saturday night for our friends here, which was lots of fun. It was great having him here... maybe I'll even get some pictures up at some point.

Then he left and I started my exams. Well, first I freaked out, cried (as per usual, though this time seemed a little more desperate), and rearranged my entire apartment. I love it! I have set up a new workspace in front of my sliding glass doors in the living room, and I still have my desk in front of the window in the my bedroom. It feels like a whole new place. I figured it's good to be excited about it, since I will be spending a lot of time working in here over the next 8 weeks. This is the first time I have rearranged in two years of living here, too, so it was needed. Once I figured out that the television actually could go in another spot, I was all set.

Anyway, my questions are challenging, but fair. They are appropriate and useful. I think I will feel accomplished when I finish them... so overall my reaction has been good so far. I am just a little concerned about managing my time and getting them done. I have to balance reading and writing, and I am supposed to spend two weeks on each of them. I also have to figure out how to do them and manage my work schedule. I know I can do it. I think the key is just sticking to a routine. Many people seem to go underground for this time period (which is why wedding planning will certainly not start until after I'm done). So don't be surprised if my blogging drops off a bit. I blog for my own sanity, though, so we'll see. Plus, I can't have my loyal readers getting too lonely. Wish me luck in my scholarly quest! All I keep saying is, "we'll see how it goes." We certainly will.

How it all began

It was fall of 2005. I was pretty miserable. I was one year into my residence in this town, but I lived in another crappy apartment fairly far from downtown. My poor cat didn't like it at all, because a family with a huge dog (and a screaming baby) had just moved in upstairs. I wasn't really getting anywhere in my job (other than more and more frustrated and impatient), I couldn't figure out what to do for further education after some initial disappointments (bear in mind that I moved here with the plan of doing my PhD, but at first it didn't seem to be possible), and I was lonely. No friends, no boyfriends, completely on my own and questioning everything! It was a time of new beginnings, but little did I know how much it would change my life.

I made a few decisions back then. I was going to continue to explore PhD options here, and I was going to get out there and make friends and date. So, I enrolled in a course that seemed like it might be relevant, hoping for friends and a new perspective on my work. At first I wasn't so sure about it, but as I got further into the readings it really started to resonate with me. To make a long story short, the professor of that course is now my advisor. His course opened up a whole new set of possibilities for me... and paved the way for my acceptance and work in my current program.

Also while in the class I made a friend, which was very exciting (there weren't many friends to come by in this town at that point). We'll call her P. She was super cool... a student in the business school here who also happened to be interested in education. She wanted to go into development work, which is how we ended up in the same course: educational administration. We got to be friends. We often lamented the lack of cool, eligible guys around here. She was privy to my slew of dates (remember my other goal: to date). One particular gem was the "quick soup" guy (that's a story for another time). Needless to say he was not a winner. But hey, at least I was dating.

Anyway, one night P and I decided to get some of our friends together so we could all meet different people. For me that wasn't a tall order, since I had probably two at that point, and one of them I didn't really like very much. I know that sounds bad, but what can I say? So we all got together at a bar near campus, which is how I first met TMH, her good friend and business school classmate.

We chatted a bit (not a lot), and he ended up driving me home that night. He didn't ask for my number or anything, and to be honest I didn't think that much about it. But later that night P called and said "I know he's going to call me and get your number." And he did... the next day. And then he called me, and then we had our first date right before we were both going home for Thanksgiving. And the rest, as they say, is history. It was November 21, 2005, the day we now celebrate as our anniversary.

I only found out later on that P had set the whole thing up. She was pretty smart and sneaky... she told him all about me, and apparently coerced him into going out that night. She even picked me up that night, maybe with the plan that she could get him to drive me home? I had absolutely no idea. TMH claims to have shown up just to meet me. He says now that he wasn't feeling well and he and his other friend really just wanted to stay home. But P was persistent... and I guess TMH must have been interested. So we managed to be successfully set up without me even knowing!

When we met we already knew that he would be graduating the next May and moving.... he even already knew about his job. And I already knew that I would be going back to school, though I wasn't sure exactly where. It just goes to show, you have to create opportunities for yourself, and when they come up, you have to go with them. Just look at us now!

Needless to say that fall of 2005 was a pivotal time for me. It was the end of me being miserable in this town (for the most part ;-), the beginning of what would become my PhD journey, and the beginning of the relationship of my life.

A special place in the park...

...made even more special now!

August 15, 2008

The date has been on my calendar for a while, as the last day of summer school: the day that would mark the end of a chapter and the transition into a new one. I knew it was going to be a big day for a number of reasons, though I had no idea how it would end. So, let's do a run-down of the day, shall we, from the expected and minute... to the unexpected and fantastic:

The morning was a bit stressful. I was playing the "last" game in my head. The last time that I take the train to school, the last time I walk to the building, etc. Then there was the inevitable emotion of the students. The farewell lunch was fun and happy and sad all at the same time. I didn't win any awards this year but my student won the grand prize in the essay contest so I was proud of him. After the awards my students came up to me and said I "was the best teacher ever" and gave me a lovely gift! Yay!

Then my co-teacher and I hit the town for a while in the afternoon. We basically sat by the water and drank beer and congratulated ourselves on a job well done. She then took me to her favorite, hidden Italian bakery (she's Italian) and I had the cannoli of my life. She said she "would whore herself out for this woman's cannolis." The best things ever. Just as an FYI, cannolis should be made with ricotta, not cream. So yummy.

I went home to meet up with TMH, as we had planned to have dinner together. He had also been working like crazy and we were planning to go out of town the next day so we weren't up for anything too extravagant, but we wanted to mark the end of summer school. So we went out to eat in the neighborhood. Just as an aside, I was very proud of the new jeans I had on that night.

After dinner TMH said he wanted to go for a walk. I was pretty tired, but decided to humor him. He was complaining about being couped up inside all day, and so of course I should make sure he got his walk. I was the one who had been drinking beer by the water earlier, while he was at work. Never mind the fact that it was kinda raining. So we walked with our umbrellas and enjoyed the otherwise pleasant night in the city.

I started getting tired of the walk and suggested that maybe we turn around and head for home, when he reinforced that he REALLY wanted to walk to the park. Ok, we'll walk to the park. That's fine. You see, I'm pretty agreeable. I usually don't put up a fuss unless I am really in the mood to fuss. Now, there is a certain spot in this park that I love. Apparently I am quite predictable, because every time we are anywhere near that spot, I say something about going there. So, of course on Friday night I was predictable (I didn't realize it at the time, of course).

When we got to our spot, before I knew it, TMH was down on one knee (in the drizzle!) saying, "I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?" (I had to ask him later to repeat what he said because I was so surprised and it went so fast!) I stared at him like an idiot for at least 10 seconds, I guess, and of course said yes! And he put the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly and sparkled in the night. Seriously!

I was so surprised... he really tricked me. I suppose looking back it makes perfect sense that he would do it that night. But you have to understand that I was completely not expecting it. Major points to TMH for pulling that off! He said it was really important to him that we get engaged in a "normal" way. Not on vacation... nothing too cheesy. The night was just perfect. Very PMP-TMH... just as it should be.

The ring is gorgeous. My mom gave us her mother's ring back in May and he had it restored for me. It's perfect! It means so much that she gave it to him and that I have something that has been in the family. It's just beautiful.

We took a cab home and toasted ourselves with some bourbon. The next day we went on our beach retreat and forgot about the world for two full days. It was a bit of an engagement-moon, if you will.... his engagement gift to me. I called my mom on Saturday morning on our way out of town (couldn't wait!), and then I started telling friends and other family yesterday. We won't start planning anything until after my exams, and I have a feeling it's going to be a long engagement, but I am just so happy.

I am back at my mom's now, getting ready to head back to school on the weekend. I know that TMH and I are about to entire a stressful chapter (back to distance again and me doing my A-exams) but we are not too far away now from being able to imagine a life together. We are clearly quite committed to it! It's time for me to go back and be productive, so we can move forward. I am just so happy right now. It seems that life is coming together for me. I feel quite accomplished as I close the summer, I am entering a new phase of my PhD work and I have found my partner in life. Wow!