TMH likes to sing this song to me sometimes. It's inspiring. He changes the lyrics. "So what... I am a punkin' (he alternates PMP, punkin [not sure where that came from, and not to be confused with pumpkin], and lones [from pantalones] most frequently) I got my punk moves." Yep, that's me. I got my punk moves.
This week was interesting. I made minor progress on my dissertation- one more faculty interview- but that was a major relief because it was with a department that I was worried about cooperating. I am STILL waiting for access to student data. Every couple of days I get an email from the woman asking me another question, and every time I think I might be about to get the data. And then I don't. She confessed the last time that she was new to all of this. I was hoping to have it by the end of last week so I could start setting up student interviews now, but I still don't have it. Maybe tomorrow... I can't lose another week.
I am doing better at staying calm, though. I am doing all I can do right now. I just have to take it day by day and adjust accordingly. Because it was a relatively slow dissertation week I took the opportunity to do other things to plan ahead for the coming storm. I started cleaning out my apartment and taking stock of everything to keep and get rid of... yikes! I also researched and ordered myself a new computer. I'll have to give my work computer back all too soon and I need to get my "dissertation laptop" up and running. I am very excited for it to come. I took advantage of some deep student discounts... it should be a very nice machine. Most importantly, it will be plum purple!
So, online shopping was a big activity this week. Computers, dresses (for weddings- we have SO many coming up), baby gifts, apartments. It's been a huge stressor that we still don't have a place lined up. Yesterday TMH found a great place, and someone came in right after him and put money down (while he was on the phone with me confirming that we should get it!) We were so disappointed... but then today he saw another place that was even better, and it looks like we are going to get it. Of course it's not official yet, but I am super optimistic. This place sounds amazing. 2 bed, 2 bath, working fireplace, new appliances, washer/dryer in unit, NO cat rent, in a great location. Character and new stuff at the same time... can it be? So maybe we can have it all. I can't wait for it to be official! It will be an exciting first step in starting our lives together. We're not kidding ourselves; it's going to be a bit of a transition! An exciting transition, though.
So, let's hope for a good week ahead. I will do a dance of joy when I get my hands on this student data, and it WILL happen. And when our apartment is confirmed...and we can start really planning. On the weekend TMH will be here and we'll get to have a fun Easter with his family. I am excited to see his little niece again. I am well-suited to being Aunt PMP. And so I say "so what" to everything else!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Still here
I just realized it's been two weeks since my last post. I'm still here... still making it through. But you could say I've been a bit busy:
1. Looking for an apartment. TMH and I still haven't settled on anything. I could rant about cat rent and trade-offs and all that stuff, but you don't care. It's been time-consuming and frustrating because when you get an apartment you are always settling and you always feel like your money is going out the window. I know I am done with living in apartments; we are both over it. But we need a transitional place... for at least the next two years, before we can figure out where it might make sense to buy. I wish we could have resolved the issue when I was there for spring break, but such is life. He wants me to go back this weekend to do a final look, but I am tempted not to, even though I know it's a big decision. Maybe we did enough together for him to handle this final part...I've just been going non-stop...and really could use a weekend at home (But so has he. Stress level=high).
2. Travelling. I also just got back from the professional conference I go to every year. It was awesome, but exhausting. I left here with a cold so it's not surprising that I lost my voice while I was gone. But it was great. Got to see my old advisor, who continues to be the most enthusiastic mentor I have. He was so happy to hear of my progress. I also started to wax nostalgic about my 7 years of active participation in this group. My colleagues were excited to hear of my dissertation and my coming wedding. Even when I leave my current job, at least I will still have this group (which will continue to include many of my current coworkers)... for the time being.
3. Dissertationing. So in addition to all that going on I have hit some bumps with the dissertation. To be expected, I know. I have to tackle them this week. The hardest thing is getting people to agree to talk with me, and I am having trouble getting access to some data at one school. UGH. I am doing a good job of taking it one step at a time right now. I am learning calm from calming friends (you can only do what you can do) and TMH. I can do this!
4. Planning. I really have two months left in this town and there are a bunch of wedding things I want to do here before I move. Have my dress fitted, taste cake, plan the rehearsal dinner. You know. I also have to plan other things, like going to other people's weddings, moving, and other logistics of many kinds. I did much of that sort of organizing today, with the hope that it will help me feel more at ease with the week.
So I'll keep doing it all! Give myself a break when I have to (like now, I can't really talk to anyone since I lost my voice, and that's OK) and keep moving forward.
1. Looking for an apartment. TMH and I still haven't settled on anything. I could rant about cat rent and trade-offs and all that stuff, but you don't care. It's been time-consuming and frustrating because when you get an apartment you are always settling and you always feel like your money is going out the window. I know I am done with living in apartments; we are both over it. But we need a transitional place... for at least the next two years, before we can figure out where it might make sense to buy. I wish we could have resolved the issue when I was there for spring break, but such is life. He wants me to go back this weekend to do a final look, but I am tempted not to, even though I know it's a big decision. Maybe we did enough together for him to handle this final part...I've just been going non-stop...and really could use a weekend at home (But so has he. Stress level=high).
2. Travelling. I also just got back from the professional conference I go to every year. It was awesome, but exhausting. I left here with a cold so it's not surprising that I lost my voice while I was gone. But it was great. Got to see my old advisor, who continues to be the most enthusiastic mentor I have. He was so happy to hear of my progress. I also started to wax nostalgic about my 7 years of active participation in this group. My colleagues were excited to hear of my dissertation and my coming wedding. Even when I leave my current job, at least I will still have this group (which will continue to include many of my current coworkers)... for the time being.
3. Dissertationing. So in addition to all that going on I have hit some bumps with the dissertation. To be expected, I know. I have to tackle them this week. The hardest thing is getting people to agree to talk with me, and I am having trouble getting access to some data at one school. UGH. I am doing a good job of taking it one step at a time right now. I am learning calm from calming friends (you can only do what you can do) and TMH. I can do this!
4. Planning. I really have two months left in this town and there are a bunch of wedding things I want to do here before I move. Have my dress fitted, taste cake, plan the rehearsal dinner. You know. I also have to plan other things, like going to other people's weddings, moving, and other logistics of many kinds. I did much of that sort of organizing today, with the hope that it will help me feel more at ease with the week.
So I'll keep doing it all! Give myself a break when I have to (like now, I can't really talk to anyone since I lost my voice, and that's OK) and keep moving forward.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Grammatical Errors
Yes, I know I make them. I know. And I know it's shameful, especially considering my line of work. I have to think about it's and its sometimes, and I don't always use the right punctuation, and preposition placement sometimes confuses me. But I like to think that I don't make egregious errors frequently (and I think blog language, or the language of my rants, is in a slightly different category from professional writing).
This morning my current boss sent out an email to our entire professional group. It was basically a one sentence email: The time works great for _________ and I.
Really? Really. You are the director of a program that purports to teach professional language and communication skills to students from around the world and you send out a sentence like that to our professional group? I just had to share. Had. To. Share.
A couple of times recently I have been in a position to point out her errors. I have to do it very strategically, as she is not one to like to be told about much. I can say, "you know, I'm not sure, but I think it's ____________." (She also likes to make up word forms, you see). She gets the point and then can make it her idea. "Oh, definitely, it's certainly _____________." Like, how can you not be sure? LOL.
And BTW, while I'm on the subject, since when do people confuse then and than? Seriously? Seriously.
This morning my current boss sent out an email to our entire professional group. It was basically a one sentence email: The time works great for _________ and I.
Really? Really. You are the director of a program that purports to teach professional language and communication skills to students from around the world and you send out a sentence like that to our professional group? I just had to share. Had. To. Share.
A couple of times recently I have been in a position to point out her errors. I have to do it very strategically, as she is not one to like to be told about much. I can say, "you know, I'm not sure, but I think it's ____________." (She also likes to make up word forms, you see). She gets the point and then can make it her idea. "Oh, definitely, it's certainly _____________." Like, how can you not be sure? LOL.
And BTW, while I'm on the subject, since when do people confuse then and than? Seriously? Seriously.
How to speak economist
I'm sitting in the Chipotle (mmm, love it!) in the university square waiting for my next interview at 3:00. It's "spring" break and I am staying with TMH trying to collect data at the other university in my study. So far it's been a bit of a trial getting people to talk to me. I am trying to talk to economists today. Let me tell you, they are not your average folks. It's hard to explain; it's like their brains work in a completely precise way. Apparently you don't have to speak English if you can speak economist. And well, I already knew that about chemists. So it should make for some interesting dissertation findings, assuming I get people to talk with me. Even if I don't, I have a lot of insight to share at this point. It's so strange to be here doing what I'm doing. I feel brave, or something.
In addition to doing my research TMH and I are looking for an apartment. My landlord rented my place for June 1, so it's official. I am moving out and onward. Second thoughts, anyone? I wouldn't say I am having doubts, just fear and anxiety that comes as I realize what huge changes are about to take place. I will be moving in with a man, my future husband, moving away from my comfortable little apartment in the small college town that has been my home for the past 5 years, and to the "big city" (even though TMH says it's a small city), moving away from the most important job I've had thus far in my career, into a new phase of my life. I have no guarantee of employment after summer school again (and who does at this point? I did learn that my current job is going away after this semester, so that makes things a *bit* easier), though I am optimistic. And well, I'll be on my own really, writing my dissertation, trying not to turn into a hermit. I'll miss my friends and my comfort zone... and let's face it: moving just sucks. SUCKS. But, it has to be done. And parts of it are exciting, right? The good news is that TMH does not seem to have had even one second thought. We were joking about it. It's time. His response to any of my queries on this subject: "Well, I put a ring on it."
Apartment hunting is tedious and time-consuming. It's all about trade-offs. Yes, we want a great place close to everything, and no, we can't afford to have it all. So we have to decide where the balance comes between quality/size of the apartment and location. And how much they want to charge for a cat. Seriously, some landlords have got to be kidding. But if they can get money for it, they'll charge, of course.
Needless to say, so far break hasn't been much of a break. We've been going non-stop, and it seems like there is always something important to discuss. It's good to have the time, though, of course. I hope by the end of the week to have made good progress on my work. And maybe we'll even have a place to live. I'm not sure how I'll do on learning how to speak economist, though.
In addition to doing my research TMH and I are looking for an apartment. My landlord rented my place for June 1, so it's official. I am moving out and onward. Second thoughts, anyone? I wouldn't say I am having doubts, just fear and anxiety that comes as I realize what huge changes are about to take place. I will be moving in with a man, my future husband, moving away from my comfortable little apartment in the small college town that has been my home for the past 5 years, and to the "big city" (even though TMH says it's a small city), moving away from the most important job I've had thus far in my career, into a new phase of my life. I have no guarantee of employment after summer school again (and who does at this point? I did learn that my current job is going away after this semester, so that makes things a *bit* easier), though I am optimistic. And well, I'll be on my own really, writing my dissertation, trying not to turn into a hermit. I'll miss my friends and my comfort zone... and let's face it: moving just sucks. SUCKS. But, it has to be done. And parts of it are exciting, right? The good news is that TMH does not seem to have had even one second thought. We were joking about it. It's time. His response to any of my queries on this subject: "Well, I put a ring on it."
Apartment hunting is tedious and time-consuming. It's all about trade-offs. Yes, we want a great place close to everything, and no, we can't afford to have it all. So we have to decide where the balance comes between quality/size of the apartment and location. And how much they want to charge for a cat. Seriously, some landlords have got to be kidding. But if they can get money for it, they'll charge, of course.
Needless to say, so far break hasn't been much of a break. We've been going non-stop, and it seems like there is always something important to discuss. It's good to have the time, though, of course. I hope by the end of the week to have made good progress on my work. And maybe we'll even have a place to live. I'm not sure how I'll do on learning how to speak economist, though.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Let's get it started
Running running and running running and running running...
The arrival of March, the realization that I only really have 3 months left here, and starting dissertation data collection, among other things, have set me off a bit.
So, a treat for you. A glimpse of my inner thoughts this week, mostly on repeat:
The arrival of March, the realization that I only really have 3 months left here, and starting dissertation data collection, among other things, have set me off a bit.
So, a treat for you. A glimpse of my inner thoughts this week, mostly on repeat:
- Get out of bed
- Get it going
- Make it happen
- Don't freak out that it's not happening fast enough
- Things take time
- You're doing your best
- Try not to freeze your a#@ off
- I'm COLD
- It's not THAT cold it's not THAT cold it's not THAT cold
- I'm COLD
- Transcribing interviews takes forever
- Positive thinking positive thinking positive thinking
- Persistence persistence persistence
- Do it
- Be productive
- Don't freak out
- Can I watch another episode of Big Love yet?
- Will she pick the vampire or the werewolf?
- When will it be warm enough to go running again? (My threshold is 10 F-which I think it pretty generous- and it hasn't been above than any morning this week!)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
PMP, PhD
Some say it should be PMP-H.
Or PMH
Or PPH
Thoughts?
I say the PhD will belong to me... so even though TMH put a ring on it, his name should not get a doctorate.... and I have always been and will continue to be PMP.
So I know I'm jumping the gun trying out my different PhD names, but I decided it's *mostly* OK since I have learned that grad school is all about confidence and persistence. I CAN DO IT. I am not there yet, clearly, though I am one big step closer. On Friday I successfully crossed over into the next phase of my graduate career. It's weird. It was a very positive experience. I wasn't even nervous in the end... just excited. It was actually fun. I got really good feedback, and I had to defend myself. In the end my advisor said I did a great job and he can tell that I am ready to go and do my work, that I can now "stand up and be a scholar on my own." He said "keep in touch" which freaked me out a bit. But this is when students normally leave. I guess I will be leaving soon enough... and I realized that I really don't have any other administrative hurdles to jump until the B exam (defense of the dissertation). It's a crazy feeling!
So I am transitioning into the next phase of my PhD. Yahoo. In the meantime TMH came to visit. We had a great weekend. We celebrated a bit, but most importantly we got to relax and hang out. We are on the other side of our wedding planning right now; all the big things are *mostly* done. So we get to relax and talk about fun things like where we might get an apartment, and when we should start looking, and what kind of computer I should get when I have to give up my work one, what I'm going to do with my car, how we are going to manage to go to all the weddings we are supposed to go to in May, which of our parents drives us the most crazy, what crap the economy is right now, how grateful we are for where we are, and whether his little niece B, the flower girl, is old enough to wear flowers in her hair and/or carry a basket of petals. Our conversation topics are all over the map, you see.
This morning I met with the florist, which seemed like a funny thing to do on a frigid morning in February. But apparently it's a small town so that's what you do. I absolutely loved her, and I am excited about the flowers we'll have. Yay for pretty wildflower bouquets and fall colors! For the record, she thinks that B is too young for a basket of petals, and a single flower to carry might suffice.
In any case, it's time to get to work again. I hope to have another blog post with the same title sometime in mid-2010!
This morning I met with the florist, which seemed like a funny thing to do on a frigid morning in February. But apparently it's a small town so that's what you do. I absolutely loved her, and I am excited about the flowers we'll have. Yay for pretty wildflower bouquets and fall colors! For the record, she thinks that B is too young for a basket of petals, and a single flower to carry might suffice.
In any case, it's time to get to work again. I hope to have another blog post with the same title sometime in mid-2010!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Getting it on the calendar
So after much fuss, the public discussion of my dissertation proposal is on the calendar! It's this Friday the 13th, actually. I am hoping that having it on a day like Friday the 13th will lighten the mood a bit.... leaving lots of room for jokes and such. You would not believe how hard it was for me to get it scheduled. Grad school is hard for this reason more than any other; getting faculty on the same page really is like herding cats. And one minor setback doesn't just take a day, it takes a week. Hurry up and wait. It's crazy. I really think being persistent is more important than being smart when it comes to moving forward in grad school. For a while I was OK with my delay, because not having the public discussion done wasn't really holding me up. Then I realized that if I don't get it done in February it WILL hold me up. I have to be prepared to leave this place soon! And as much as I am ready to proceed with my research, and as much as the proposal is done already, preparing to present my work to the department is no small matter. I am sure I will spend much of the week preparing my presentation, and being nervous. I did decide to go all the way, to make the most of this opportunity as a professional experience: I invited all of my coworkers. So my public presentation will be a chance for me to bring my two worlds together, which is really what my dissertation will attempt to do. As my very supportive friend just told me, integrated work is the best work... which is why mine is so great!
I blame the dissertation proposal and my efforts at herding cats for my drop-off in blogging. It's an understatement to say I've had a lot going on. TMH has had a lot going on too. It's quite an exciting time for us. Too exciting, really. Other updates:
1. Wedding planning is proceeding quite well, for the most part. I have my dress in my possession now, and I just have to decide when to see what alterations I need. It's a relief to have it, though. I love it! We sent out our "save the date" cards last week. I was excited about them, and so far we have gotten some nice feedback. I have to remind myself that most people will not feel the need to comment (i.e. the center of my world is quite peripheral for others). I freaked out a little bit about the price of cake (and everything wedding related) but I am prepared to move forward on my dessert assignment, and was excited to find out that TMH's mom offered to do an Italian cookie table for us. I was so pleased when I heard that; I've always loved cookie tables but thought we wouldn't have anyone who could do it for us. Yay for TMH's mom! TMH has almost chosen our photographer. As it turns out he has a family friend who used to do these kinds of events and she was excited when he approached her about doing our wedding. I think it will be great for us to have someone that knows us (well, him) and will be invested in doing a good job. It will save us some money, too. All the big things are mostly done, for now! Signed contract and all.
2. There were a lot of layoffs at TMH's company last week... but he is safe. That was a huge relief for us. He was on a horrible project... more stressed than I have ever seen him. Needless to say his stress and my stress AND our joint project (the wedding) was seeming like a lot to handle. But all is well now. They do say that wedding planning is good practice for marriage.
3. A good friend's mom died, and I went to my first funeral. Needless to say that was quite sad and difficult... I am just trying to be there for her now. Of course it also makes me think about my own mom and my worries for her.
4. My job is crazy. I have new boss (es). I am not teaching, which is apparently a way to get more work out of me. I miss the routine (and fun) of teaching (and the clear boundaries it set on my time). I am still working out the kinks of navigating the new work situation. But I continue to be grateful for my work, and I'm starting to get nervous at the thoughts of leaving this place. I've grown quite comfortable here, and as much as there is no point in worrying about it now, and as much as I know it is getting to be time to move on, it's going to be hard.
So, I better get back to work. Now that my presentation is finally on the calendar, I have to do it.... and I have to do it well. It will be quite a week, but at the end, if all goes well, I will be one hoop closer to my goals, and TMH will be here to help me celebrate. Wish me luck!
I blame the dissertation proposal and my efforts at herding cats for my drop-off in blogging. It's an understatement to say I've had a lot going on. TMH has had a lot going on too. It's quite an exciting time for us. Too exciting, really. Other updates:
1. Wedding planning is proceeding quite well, for the most part. I have my dress in my possession now, and I just have to decide when to see what alterations I need. It's a relief to have it, though. I love it! We sent out our "save the date" cards last week. I was excited about them, and so far we have gotten some nice feedback. I have to remind myself that most people will not feel the need to comment (i.e. the center of my world is quite peripheral for others). I freaked out a little bit about the price of cake (and everything wedding related) but I am prepared to move forward on my dessert assignment, and was excited to find out that TMH's mom offered to do an Italian cookie table for us. I was so pleased when I heard that; I've always loved cookie tables but thought we wouldn't have anyone who could do it for us. Yay for TMH's mom! TMH has almost chosen our photographer. As it turns out he has a family friend who used to do these kinds of events and she was excited when he approached her about doing our wedding. I think it will be great for us to have someone that knows us (well, him) and will be invested in doing a good job. It will save us some money, too. All the big things are mostly done, for now! Signed contract and all.
2. There were a lot of layoffs at TMH's company last week... but he is safe. That was a huge relief for us. He was on a horrible project... more stressed than I have ever seen him. Needless to say his stress and my stress AND our joint project (the wedding) was seeming like a lot to handle. But all is well now. They do say that wedding planning is good practice for marriage.
3. A good friend's mom died, and I went to my first funeral. Needless to say that was quite sad and difficult... I am just trying to be there for her now. Of course it also makes me think about my own mom and my worries for her.
4. My job is crazy. I have new boss (es). I am not teaching, which is apparently a way to get more work out of me. I miss the routine (and fun) of teaching (and the clear boundaries it set on my time). I am still working out the kinks of navigating the new work situation. But I continue to be grateful for my work, and I'm starting to get nervous at the thoughts of leaving this place. I've grown quite comfortable here, and as much as there is no point in worrying about it now, and as much as I know it is getting to be time to move on, it's going to be hard.
So, I better get back to work. Now that my presentation is finally on the calendar, I have to do it.... and I have to do it well. It will be quite a week, but at the end, if all goes well, I will be one hoop closer to my goals, and TMH will be here to help me celebrate. Wish me luck!
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