Renew

It's been a week of renewal around here, on a number of levels. It's January, the new semester is about to start, and I just got a bee in my bonnet to cleanse and purge and start again. Here's what happened:

1. I rearranged both bedrooms in our apartment. Last weekend I started asking TMH what he thought about this, what he thought about that ...in terms of our furniture. He was not so enthused, I think because when we moved in together we found a way to make it work for us and changing things around did seem a bit daunting. We had to purge a lot to fit together in one apartment but when we moved in that was just the beginning of the process. I realized from talking to TMH that he didn't really care that much, and I decided he'd be happy if I just did it. And he was! I knew it wouldn't be as complicated as he thought. I dedicated Monday afternoon to changing things around, starting with our second bedroom/office. His desk is now in there, instead of in our bedroom, which means when I wake up in the morning I don't have to look over at his big stack of papers. The office looks awesome. Both desks fit in nicely together and the space just makes me happy now. The moving of the desk let our bedroom become a whole new space. Less cluttered, more relaxing, and more space! I am still excited about it when I walk in there. The office is also less cluttered, and moving all this stuff around allowed me to get rid of a piece of furniture I have been dying to get rid of. Why didn't I before? Because it was storing a lot of crap. I have since purged some of it and rearranged our closets to fit the rest. It's liberating, really. We still have more to sort through/get rid of but it's coming together. TMH came home to quite a surprise! Don't underestimate Mrs. PMP. I really didn't take me that long and I am still admiring my handiwork.

2. I got a haircut... a drastic one! It was really cold and shitty this week and I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and just was sad at what I saw. Long hair, dried out, way too long, layers long gone, just dragging me down. UGH. It was time. All last year leading up to the wedding I was in hair limbo, not wanting to cut it since I would likely do an up-do. I did, and I am still impressed with how well I did my wedding hair, but it just simply got too long. It's now super fun and short and cute and just...well, liberating! I feel ten times lighter.

3. I talked to my committee, got feedback from my advisor (which involves the writing of a new chapter, which clears up a lot of my writing issues) reorganized my timeline, and feel much clearer and more focused on what I need to do. Let's face it, I had hit a wall. I'm over the wall now (or I have pushed it out a ways, I should say) and reinvigorated! I can do this thing. It will happen in 2010. That's all I'll say at this point. I am feeling quite good about my work.

4. My semester job prospects FINALLY became a reality. By this I mean I have students, classrooms, set times, and the promise of money to teach TWO sections of my class this semester. Woo-hoo, go PMP. It's the little things, like classrooms, that make me happy. I spent much of the week going back and forth trying to arrange the classes, making sure they were going to happen, and wondering if the funding might get pulled out at the last minute. They are going to happen! Starting Monday. Yippee. I am hoping that the schedule will add more structure to my life, and even though I have more work to do this semester it is important work. I'll keep writing and I'll keep teaching. I'll keep pushing on both walls. We'll see. In the end hopefully I'll have a finished dissertation and a full-time job.

So here I go! Stay tuned.

Getting it on the calendar

So after much fuss, the public discussion of my dissertation proposal is on the calendar! It's this Friday the 13th, actually. I am hoping that having it on a day like Friday the 13th will lighten the mood a bit.... leaving lots of room for jokes and such. You would not believe how hard it was for me to get it scheduled. Grad school is hard for this reason more than any other; getting faculty on the same page really is like herding cats. And one minor setback doesn't just take a day, it takes a week. Hurry up and wait. It's crazy. I really think being persistent is more important than being smart when it comes to moving forward in grad school. For a while I was OK with my delay, because not having the public discussion done wasn't really holding me up. Then I realized that if I don't get it done in February it WILL hold me up. I have to be prepared to leave this place soon! And as much as I am ready to proceed with my research, and as much as the proposal is done already, preparing to present my work to the department is no small matter. I am sure I will spend much of the week preparing my presentation, and being nervous. I did decide to go all the way, to make the most of this opportunity as a professional experience: I invited all of my coworkers. So my public presentation will be a chance for me to bring my two worlds together, which is really what my dissertation will attempt to do. As my very supportive friend just told me, integrated work is the best work... which is why mine is so great!

I blame the dissertation proposal and my efforts at herding cats for my drop-off in blogging. It's an understatement to say I've had a lot going on. TMH has had a lot going on too. It's quite an exciting time for us. Too exciting, really. Other updates:

1. Wedding planning is proceeding quite well, for the most part. I have my dress in my possession now, and I just have to decide when to see what alterations I need. It's a relief to have it, though. I love it! We sent out our "save the date" cards last week. I was excited about them, and so far we have gotten some nice feedback. I have to remind myself that most people will not feel the need to comment (i.e. the center of my world is quite peripheral for others). I freaked out a little bit about the price of cake (and everything wedding related) but I am prepared to move forward on my dessert assignment, and was excited to find out that TMH's mom offered to do an Italian cookie table for us. I was so pleased when I heard that; I've always loved cookie tables but thought we wouldn't have anyone who could do it for us. Yay for TMH's mom! TMH has almost chosen our photographer. As it turns out he has a family friend who used to do these kinds of events and she was excited when he approached her about doing our wedding. I think it will be great for us to have someone that knows us (well, him) and will be invested in doing a good job. It will save us some money, too. All the big things are mostly done, for now! Signed contract and all.

2. There were a lot of layoffs at TMH's company last week... but he is safe. That was a huge relief for us. He was on a horrible project... more stressed than I have ever seen him. Needless to say his stress and my stress AND our joint project (the wedding) was seeming like a lot to handle. But all is well now. They do say that wedding planning is good practice for marriage.

3. A good friend's mom died, and I went to my first funeral. Needless to say that was quite sad and difficult... I am just trying to be there for her now. Of course it also makes me think about my own mom and my worries for her.

4. My job is crazy. I have new boss (es). I am not teaching, which is apparently a way to get more work out of me. I miss the routine (and fun) of teaching (and the clear boundaries it set on my time). I am still working out the kinks of navigating the new work situation. But I continue to be grateful for my work, and I'm starting to get nervous at the thoughts of leaving this place. I've grown quite comfortable here, and as much as there is no point in worrying about it now, and as much as I know it is getting to be time to move on, it's going to be hard.

So, I better get back to work. Now that my presentation is finally on the calendar, I have to do it.... and I have to do it well. It will be quite a week, but at the end, if all goes well, I will be one hoop closer to my goals, and TMH will be here to help me celebrate. Wish me luck!