How it all began

It was fall of 2005. I was pretty miserable. I was one year into my residence in this town, but I lived in another crappy apartment fairly far from downtown. My poor cat didn't like it at all, because a family with a huge dog (and a screaming baby) had just moved in upstairs. I wasn't really getting anywhere in my job (other than more and more frustrated and impatient), I couldn't figure out what to do for further education after some initial disappointments (bear in mind that I moved here with the plan of doing my PhD, but at first it didn't seem to be possible), and I was lonely. No friends, no boyfriends, completely on my own and questioning everything! It was a time of new beginnings, but little did I know how much it would change my life.

I made a few decisions back then. I was going to continue to explore PhD options here, and I was going to get out there and make friends and date. So, I enrolled in a course that seemed like it might be relevant, hoping for friends and a new perspective on my work. At first I wasn't so sure about it, but as I got further into the readings it really started to resonate with me. To make a long story short, the professor of that course is now my advisor. His course opened up a whole new set of possibilities for me... and paved the way for my acceptance and work in my current program.

Also while in the class I made a friend, which was very exciting (there weren't many friends to come by in this town at that point). We'll call her P. She was super cool... a student in the business school here who also happened to be interested in education. She wanted to go into development work, which is how we ended up in the same course: educational administration. We got to be friends. We often lamented the lack of cool, eligible guys around here. She was privy to my slew of dates (remember my other goal: to date). One particular gem was the "quick soup" guy (that's a story for another time). Needless to say he was not a winner. But hey, at least I was dating.

Anyway, one night P and I decided to get some of our friends together so we could all meet different people. For me that wasn't a tall order, since I had probably two at that point, and one of them I didn't really like very much. I know that sounds bad, but what can I say? So we all got together at a bar near campus, which is how I first met TMH, her good friend and business school classmate.

We chatted a bit (not a lot), and he ended up driving me home that night. He didn't ask for my number or anything, and to be honest I didn't think that much about it. But later that night P called and said "I know he's going to call me and get your number." And he did... the next day. And then he called me, and then we had our first date right before we were both going home for Thanksgiving. And the rest, as they say, is history. It was November 21, 2005, the day we now celebrate as our anniversary.

I only found out later on that P had set the whole thing up. She was pretty smart and sneaky... she told him all about me, and apparently coerced him into going out that night. She even picked me up that night, maybe with the plan that she could get him to drive me home? I had absolutely no idea. TMH claims to have shown up just to meet me. He says now that he wasn't feeling well and he and his other friend really just wanted to stay home. But P was persistent... and I guess TMH must have been interested. So we managed to be successfully set up without me even knowing!

When we met we already knew that he would be graduating the next May and moving.... he even already knew about his job. And I already knew that I would be going back to school, though I wasn't sure exactly where. It just goes to show, you have to create opportunities for yourself, and when they come up, you have to go with them. Just look at us now!

Needless to say that fall of 2005 was a pivotal time for me. It was the end of me being miserable in this town (for the most part ;-), the beginning of what would become my PhD journey, and the beginning of the relationship of my life.