I bet you can guess what it looks like.
TMH left and I cried and I vacuumed and organized and checked email and freaked out about how many things I have to do in the next 4 days. The next step is to make a schedule that makes them manageable... but for now I am feeling a bit paralyzed with fear. OH my too many things....
It doesn't help that my boss sprung a new project on me without telling me ( I got an email about it from another colleague), and my professor sent out an assignment for next week that I don't understand at all, that was not part of the syllabus. People need to be upfront with their expectations. They should not be allowed to change things around at the last minute without consultation. My schedule this semester does not accomodate this type of fluctuation very well. It is very hard to take things in stride at the moment... but I know once I make the plan I'll be able to handle it. Right? Stress!
In good news, TMH and I had an awesome, albeit packed, weekend. It was nice to see his parents, and the wedding was fun. The weather was perfect. And, in just a few days "fall break" will be here. Let me just see how to make things manageable... or as manageable as possible, I should say.
Maybe I'll go for a run first. That might put me in a more relaxed mindset, so I can make things happen. Just do it? Git er done? Oh dear, I am spouting cliches and bad advertising slogans. Time to get to it, plain and simple. Yikes.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
TGIF
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who commented on this very real issue.There are so many complex problems rolled up into one. The problem of pressure on women....and where status should come from... and how to make important decisions about everything... but also (as was pointed out) the problem that certain jobs are underpaid, and others are terribly overpaid. As an educator this is clearly where I get defensive. One might also argue that purchasing a Lexus, for example, does nothing more than perpetuate those problems. Upon further reflection I find myself even more satisfied with my own decisions and less sympathetic to my friend's problems. Another big obstacle is indecision, though. You have to move in life... and be clear with yourself and about yourself. You don't want to feel stuck.
I agree with MEP- sometimes we just have to accept what we have. It doesn't mean we can't hope for more, but we have to find a way to be happy with ourselves and enjoy life. We have to make our own choices, and understand and decide on our own priorities. I will say it can be tough not to judge, though (ourselves and others- clearly, I have trouble here). Blah. And here we go into another spiral...
On to lighter topics:
1. Thursday night TV was super exciting last night. Yay for a new season!
2. TMH is here! We are going to his parents' later today and will have dinner with them, and tomorrow is the wedding.
3. I have to get back to work... I am still keeping my head up with my crazy schedule but it is definitely getting a bit more challenging.
Have a good weekend, everyone...
I agree with MEP- sometimes we just have to accept what we have. It doesn't mean we can't hope for more, but we have to find a way to be happy with ourselves and enjoy life. We have to make our own choices, and understand and decide on our own priorities. I will say it can be tough not to judge, though (ourselves and others- clearly, I have trouble here). Blah. And here we go into another spiral...
On to lighter topics:
1. Thursday night TV was super exciting last night. Yay for a new season!
2. TMH is here! We are going to his parents' later today and will have dinner with them, and tomorrow is the wedding.
3. I have to get back to work... I am still keeping my head up with my crazy schedule but it is definitely getting a bit more challenging.
Have a good weekend, everyone...
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
And another thing (or two)....
1. Society's voice is not so smart. One might say that it's to blame for lots of divorces... and bad marriages. How many people do you know who got married because that's what they were supposed to do? Gotta make it in under the deadline, you know. Whose deadline?
2. It's true... having a goal and knowing what makes you happy... being in touch with your own strengths and weaknesses... that's what's really important. I am reminded of a cheesy but appropriate line from Reality Bites- "all you have to be by the age of 25 is yourself." We can define our own identity. (I think some great 80s movies also comment on such issues... perhaps that is where I have gotten all of this wisdom. Clearly it's not a new question). I bet Ethan Hawke's character would agree that we could push the age back a bit. For me, one of the best things about being in my 30s is being myself... and getting more and more comfortable with who I am.
2. It's true... having a goal and knowing what makes you happy... being in touch with your own strengths and weaknesses... that's what's really important. I am reminded of a cheesy but appropriate line from Reality Bites- "all you have to be by the age of 25 is yourself." We can define our own identity. (I think some great 80s movies also comment on such issues... perhaps that is where I have gotten all of this wisdom. Clearly it's not a new question). I bet Ethan Hawke's character would agree that we could push the age back a bit. For me, one of the best things about being in my 30s is being myself... and getting more and more comfortable with who I am.
Life Choices
How does one decide what path her life will take??? I don't think I decided, which may explain how I ended up here. Somehow things just kept happening and I ended up in a good place. Looking back, I can definitely make a clear and coherent story of the progression, and it almost looks like I planned it. But, I didn't. Really. Despite the perceived chaos of it all, things seem to be turning out very well (though I definitely don't always think so, and I didn't think so at many stages along the way. There are definitely days when I have to ignore the voice reminding me that I'm 32 and single and I don't have any kids- and I wonder whose voice that is. Society's? I usually can ignore it).
I don't think any woman at about my age doesn't question her life a bit. Are you married, do you own a house, do you have kids, do you have what you want, ARE YOU HAPPY? How do you measure up, by societal standards?? Too many questions, and too much pressure. It is clear that some women definitely start their 20s (or maybe even sooner) with a plan, and go about checking things off the list. I know some of them. It is clear they approached their life with an agenda that I didn't have. Do you think they are somehow more satisfied now, or when it comes down to it they still have this inner doubt?
And, is it possible to have EVERYTHING? People often say you can only have a couple of things in your life that make you happy at one time. Like you can have a job and a relationship... or a relationship and a house... or a personal life and a good income (minus the job satisfaction).. you can never have 3 of the big things together. You may only be able to have one thing at a time. I definitely get frustrated that I live here by myself, and the rest of my life feels like it's on hold. On the other hand, I realize I am super lucky to be able to have the experience I am having now. I am working hard, but hopefully I am working toward something and at the end it will all be worth it and I will be able to have those other things that I am missing. Those days that I miss TMH, and my mom, and wonder why I live here.... I just have to think that it is worth it. And it is, even though there are never any guarantees about the future. Of course there are other days when I wouldn't trade my life here and the limited time that I have to do this for anything.
My friend's visit has sparked these questions. She is living a struggle that I find hard to understand.... but it really has to do with all of these things. She is having a crisis of priorities, really. Which is more important? Relationship? Job satisfaction? Income? Geography? Why should we have to choose? Her problem (and mine, really, and that of many other people our age) is that she was raised with the idea that she can do whatever she wants. We should be able to have our cake and eat it too. No one ever tells you to work hard, and oh by the way, parts of your job will be really crappy. No one tells you about compromise: it can be a good thing, and is necessary at times. Being idealistic doesn't really pay, nor does education for education's sake, unless you are very clear on your priorities when you start. I just saw a group on a social networking site: "I majored in what I liked and someday I will be living in a box." It's sad.... but reality. Why doesn't it pay to be smart and study what you like? It's all about changing it around and making it profitable until it's something you don't even like anymore.
Oh well... this is one problem I don't have. I am proud of my liberal arts education and knowledge for the sake of knowledge. I did find something I like (and I'm good at) and can mostly stomach and get excited about/feel proud of, most of the time.... and I only occasionally get defensive about why it pays less than other jobs (and I'm working on not getting defensive at all, but that's tough). I think that's all you can really ask. I do not expect to ever be incredibly well paid, but at the same time I did not start out with that as a priority.
This is a cyclical and connected argument. A liberal arts education SHOULD be education for education's sake that ALSO prepares you for the real world. You should be able to study esoteric things and practical things. You should have to learn statistics and consider career options. Why are such things necessarily contradictory?
Back to my friend's problem: an unsatisfying job that pays really well, and a desire for more academics that won't pay. Hmm... I don't know. But clearly some of her satisfaction comes from her income. What's a girl to do? Buy a new car, I guess, and hope to figure it out eventually.
My point is really that we can't be expected to figure everything out at once... and everyone is entitled to her own priorities and her own sense of what's important.
I don't think any woman at about my age doesn't question her life a bit. Are you married, do you own a house, do you have kids, do you have what you want, ARE YOU HAPPY? How do you measure up, by societal standards?? Too many questions, and too much pressure. It is clear that some women definitely start their 20s (or maybe even sooner) with a plan, and go about checking things off the list. I know some of them. It is clear they approached their life with an agenda that I didn't have. Do you think they are somehow more satisfied now, or when it comes down to it they still have this inner doubt?
And, is it possible to have EVERYTHING? People often say you can only have a couple of things in your life that make you happy at one time. Like you can have a job and a relationship... or a relationship and a house... or a personal life and a good income (minus the job satisfaction).. you can never have 3 of the big things together. You may only be able to have one thing at a time. I definitely get frustrated that I live here by myself, and the rest of my life feels like it's on hold. On the other hand, I realize I am super lucky to be able to have the experience I am having now. I am working hard, but hopefully I am working toward something and at the end it will all be worth it and I will be able to have those other things that I am missing. Those days that I miss TMH, and my mom, and wonder why I live here.... I just have to think that it is worth it. And it is, even though there are never any guarantees about the future. Of course there are other days when I wouldn't trade my life here and the limited time that I have to do this for anything.
My friend's visit has sparked these questions. She is living a struggle that I find hard to understand.... but it really has to do with all of these things. She is having a crisis of priorities, really. Which is more important? Relationship? Job satisfaction? Income? Geography? Why should we have to choose? Her problem (and mine, really, and that of many other people our age) is that she was raised with the idea that she can do whatever she wants. We should be able to have our cake and eat it too. No one ever tells you to work hard, and oh by the way, parts of your job will be really crappy. No one tells you about compromise: it can be a good thing, and is necessary at times. Being idealistic doesn't really pay, nor does education for education's sake, unless you are very clear on your priorities when you start. I just saw a group on a social networking site: "I majored in what I liked and someday I will be living in a box." It's sad.... but reality. Why doesn't it pay to be smart and study what you like? It's all about changing it around and making it profitable until it's something you don't even like anymore.
Oh well... this is one problem I don't have. I am proud of my liberal arts education and knowledge for the sake of knowledge. I did find something I like (and I'm good at) and can mostly stomach and get excited about/feel proud of, most of the time.... and I only occasionally get defensive about why it pays less than other jobs (and I'm working on not getting defensive at all, but that's tough). I think that's all you can really ask. I do not expect to ever be incredibly well paid, but at the same time I did not start out with that as a priority.
This is a cyclical and connected argument. A liberal arts education SHOULD be education for education's sake that ALSO prepares you for the real world. You should be able to study esoteric things and practical things. You should have to learn statistics and consider career options. Why are such things necessarily contradictory?
Back to my friend's problem: an unsatisfying job that pays really well, and a desire for more academics that won't pay. Hmm... I don't know. But clearly some of her satisfaction comes from her income. What's a girl to do? Buy a new car, I guess, and hope to figure it out eventually.
My point is really that we can't be expected to figure everything out at once... and everyone is entitled to her own priorities and her own sense of what's important.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Excitamante
I think I may have mentioned before that TMH and I like to make up words that sound like Spanish, and throw them in to normal conversation randomly. (Making up words is lots of fun- I suggest that everyone try it). I guess sometimes we use real Spanish words (i.e. pantalones- you may recall my pink ones that were popular in the summer). Excitamante is not a real word (in any language, as far as I know) but it is one of my favorites at the moment. I hope it gives you the impression of a more expressive and colorful way to say exciting...
So, there are a few things I am excited about right now:
1. I worked today but now I am home and I did laundry and cleaned the apartment and I get to go to bed early and sleep in and I don't have to go anywhere. I know, I know, what is the world coming to, when it's Friday night and this is number one on my list? I am getting old, I suppose. I just feel like there has been so much going on, and I can't keep up. This week was pretty insane with school and work, I am exhausted, and I wonder how the end of the semester will be if the pre-middle is this bad. Eeek. Wait, I was focusing on the positive. I had a little time today to regroup and do those things that make me sane... and I am happy about it!
2. I got an iPod. This is excitamante on a number of levels. It's really my first one, though I used to have one for work that was under the control of my boss. This one is under my control, and it is shiny and red and beautiful. It is also exciting because all the other music-producing things in my life have broken (CD components in my stereo, among others)... and now I have a nifty cord so I can plug the iPod into my stereo and it plays music again. AND my name is engraved on the back of it. How spoiled am I? This is true luxury in my world. It was a gift from my dad for my birthday (It is actually what I decided to do with his check, which was very decadent and uncharacteristic of me, despite how well I convinced myself and rationalized about how much I need one. As a runner, as a person with an old stereo, as a person who drives and travels all the time... why save the money for statistics textbooks and trips to the dentist when $200 can get you a new Nano?) and TMH got me an armband. I went running today, to try out the new system. It was awesome. In addition to the things listed in #1, a run is the final step in me getting my balance back. Sort of like how Stella got her groove back, only different. (I still have no music in the car, which even a new iPod can't solve. Getting it fixed is on the list for the next time I have a little free time...we'll see how long that takes. The next drive to see TMH might be a good incentive to make the time).
3. I got to hang out with E last night, do some Target shopping and eat some Chinese. Those were actually the first steps in the process of me clearing my head of the insanity of the week, which laid the groundwork for today's activities. It was excellent to spend a little time with her.
4. I have all day tomorrow and Sunday to dedicate to my work. Yes, I am actually excited about this, which I think is a good sign. I need to catch up and be well-prepared for the week ahead, and I think I can do it. An old friend is coming in on Sunday night, for two nights, and a local friend just so happens to be having an autumnal equinox party on Sunday. Good timing, though I hope my friend won't think I am always in the habit of going to parties on Sunday night. She might not believe me when I tell her I am overwhelmed and overworked. I guess it will be more clear on Monday night when she'll have to wait until after I teach to eat dinner.
5. TMH is coming to town next weekend, and we are going to a country wedding (in his hometown nearby, of one of his high school friends). I hope he's not offended that I am calling it a country wedding... but he does know that his town is in the middle of nowhere. I expect the wedding will be the polar opposite of this summer's elaborate wedding spectacle. We will also see his parents on Friday night. I am really looking forward to it.
6. Ok, I am (only a little) embarassed... the new shows all start next week. I am excited. Of course I am annoyed that my two shows are both on at the same time. Of all the nights, and all the times, and all the shows, the two I have to watch are on at the same time. What are the odds? I guess if I retained more of my stats I could calculate the probability. I have a feeling these are not independent events, however, and that the TV people realize that there are lots of viewers out there who will be torn between Greys and the Office on Thursday nights. I bet most of those people have a DVR, though, so why do they bother trying to force a choice? This crisis is making me think I need one, but the iPod probably fills my luxury quota for this year. Ah well... I will simply have to watch one and tape one .... and realize it's just TV. But, but.....
7. I think I'm done. I hope you now have an appreciation of the definition of excitamante in the current world of PMP.
So, there are a few things I am excited about right now:
1. I worked today but now I am home and I did laundry and cleaned the apartment and I get to go to bed early and sleep in and I don't have to go anywhere. I know, I know, what is the world coming to, when it's Friday night and this is number one on my list? I am getting old, I suppose. I just feel like there has been so much going on, and I can't keep up. This week was pretty insane with school and work, I am exhausted, and I wonder how the end of the semester will be if the pre-middle is this bad. Eeek. Wait, I was focusing on the positive. I had a little time today to regroup and do those things that make me sane... and I am happy about it!
2. I got an iPod. This is excitamante on a number of levels. It's really my first one, though I used to have one for work that was under the control of my boss. This one is under my control, and it is shiny and red and beautiful. It is also exciting because all the other music-producing things in my life have broken (CD components in my stereo, among others)... and now I have a nifty cord so I can plug the iPod into my stereo and it plays music again. AND my name is engraved on the back of it. How spoiled am I? This is true luxury in my world. It was a gift from my dad for my birthday (It is actually what I decided to do with his check, which was very decadent and uncharacteristic of me, despite how well I convinced myself and rationalized about how much I need one. As a runner, as a person with an old stereo, as a person who drives and travels all the time... why save the money for statistics textbooks and trips to the dentist when $200 can get you a new Nano?) and TMH got me an armband. I went running today, to try out the new system. It was awesome. In addition to the things listed in #1, a run is the final step in me getting my balance back. Sort of like how Stella got her groove back, only different. (I still have no music in the car, which even a new iPod can't solve. Getting it fixed is on the list for the next time I have a little free time...we'll see how long that takes. The next drive to see TMH might be a good incentive to make the time).
3. I got to hang out with E last night, do some Target shopping and eat some Chinese. Those were actually the first steps in the process of me clearing my head of the insanity of the week, which laid the groundwork for today's activities. It was excellent to spend a little time with her.
4. I have all day tomorrow and Sunday to dedicate to my work. Yes, I am actually excited about this, which I think is a good sign. I need to catch up and be well-prepared for the week ahead, and I think I can do it. An old friend is coming in on Sunday night, for two nights, and a local friend just so happens to be having an autumnal equinox party on Sunday. Good timing, though I hope my friend won't think I am always in the habit of going to parties on Sunday night. She might not believe me when I tell her I am overwhelmed and overworked. I guess it will be more clear on Monday night when she'll have to wait until after I teach to eat dinner.
5. TMH is coming to town next weekend, and we are going to a country wedding (in his hometown nearby, of one of his high school friends). I hope he's not offended that I am calling it a country wedding... but he does know that his town is in the middle of nowhere. I expect the wedding will be the polar opposite of this summer's elaborate wedding spectacle. We will also see his parents on Friday night. I am really looking forward to it.
6. Ok, I am (only a little) embarassed... the new shows all start next week. I am excited. Of course I am annoyed that my two shows are both on at the same time. Of all the nights, and all the times, and all the shows, the two I have to watch are on at the same time. What are the odds? I guess if I retained more of my stats I could calculate the probability. I have a feeling these are not independent events, however, and that the TV people realize that there are lots of viewers out there who will be torn between Greys and the Office on Thursday nights. I bet most of those people have a DVR, though, so why do they bother trying to force a choice? This crisis is making me think I need one, but the iPod probably fills my luxury quota for this year. Ah well... I will simply have to watch one and tape one .... and realize it's just TV. But, but.....
7. I think I'm done. I hope you now have an appreciation of the definition of excitamante in the current world of PMP.
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Week in Review
Whew, what a week! I was going to say, "another week, another week of dollars." That sounded lame, and definitely not true. Then I thought, "another week, another week of stress." That just sounded depressing, and again, not entirely true. Today is clearly not the day to try to be clever. So, I will just focus on what happened since I last posted:
1. My mom came to visit. We had an awesome time. I can't believe she is really 70. She was running up the hill with me when she was here, despite the rain. She didn't blink an eye at an all day hike. It's pretty impressive. She's in better shape than most people MY age. That should shame all of you. Get off your butts, so that when you're 70 no one will know. We had a birthday dinner with three of her old friends. As some of you know, many moons ago my mom attended the same institution I am attending now, and some of her old friends still live here. It was great, and a great way to celebrate a special occasion. I think my mom was really happy.
2. I got lots of fun birthday presents. Yay for presents!
3. My mom left, and I was sad and lonely once again. But, I had to quickly get over it- there was no time to wallow. At that point I entered what I would call the "bad busy" part of my week. Bad busy is in stark contrast to good (productive) busy. Bad busy is when you have too much to do and none of it goes very well and you get stuck spending way too much time on trivial stuff you can't avoid. E's example of needing to get a brake light fixed within 24 hours when your day was already fully scheduled is exactly what I mean. This week I got locked out of my classroom with students waiting, and was forced to run around campus, and pay $5 (which I didn't have on me), in order to get in (!). That is one of many things that took too much time and should not have happened, when I already had too much to do in the time given. I feel like I should write a physics formula about this. I am sure my students could help me with it.
3. I did a lot of work, stayed up late, finished things and generally tried to keep a handle on my semester. Taking four classes plus teaching is a bit much, but so far I am managing it. I am really interested in the content of my classes (even stats is improving!) and so I think that will mean I am motivated to stay on the tread mill. I can't stop, or I might fall off and not be able to get back on. My brother says he thinks of the semester like a rushing river. You just get in and keep going, because you have to. You have to keep your head up too, obviously. Any other metaphors for the semester?
4. I drove to visit TMH for the first time this semester. Part of this might be another case of bad busy. The time it takes to go see TMH is way more than driving time. Prep time takes more than one might imagine. For one thing, it requires dragging a cat unwillingly out from under the bed. The kennel is really the only place for Gemi when I am gone, so such is life. Driving to the kennel is also no fun, but it's a breeze compared to getting the cat out of her hiding spot. I love Gemi, and I love TMH, so this is the reality I have to handle. In any case, it only happens once a month. Of course the other part of seeing TMH is the good part. I was so excited to arrive last night. He had one more late birthday surprise for me: he made me a video/slideshow. He put together lots of fun pictures of us, all the adventures we have shared over the past two years, and set it to music. It made me cry- it was so sweet. He loves me.
So, here I am, back at TMH's. It seems like another life when I was living here teaching at that other school. He is at work and already I have been quite productive today. (I really just took a break to write here, I promise). It is nice to be here on Fridays and work by myself. I don't have the distractions I have at home and I can look forward to him getting home from work. It is a beautiful day here... so we look forward to a relaxing weekend.
Ok, time to crank the treadmill back up a little bit (on Fridays I am- usually- fortunate enough to be able to slow it down some).
1. My mom came to visit. We had an awesome time. I can't believe she is really 70. She was running up the hill with me when she was here, despite the rain. She didn't blink an eye at an all day hike. It's pretty impressive. She's in better shape than most people MY age. That should shame all of you. Get off your butts, so that when you're 70 no one will know. We had a birthday dinner with three of her old friends. As some of you know, many moons ago my mom attended the same institution I am attending now, and some of her old friends still live here. It was great, and a great way to celebrate a special occasion. I think my mom was really happy.
2. I got lots of fun birthday presents. Yay for presents!
3. My mom left, and I was sad and lonely once again. But, I had to quickly get over it- there was no time to wallow. At that point I entered what I would call the "bad busy" part of my week. Bad busy is in stark contrast to good (productive) busy. Bad busy is when you have too much to do and none of it goes very well and you get stuck spending way too much time on trivial stuff you can't avoid. E's example of needing to get a brake light fixed within 24 hours when your day was already fully scheduled is exactly what I mean. This week I got locked out of my classroom with students waiting, and was forced to run around campus, and pay $5 (which I didn't have on me), in order to get in (!). That is one of many things that took too much time and should not have happened, when I already had too much to do in the time given. I feel like I should write a physics formula about this. I am sure my students could help me with it.
3. I did a lot of work, stayed up late, finished things and generally tried to keep a handle on my semester. Taking four classes plus teaching is a bit much, but so far I am managing it. I am really interested in the content of my classes (even stats is improving!) and so I think that will mean I am motivated to stay on the tread mill. I can't stop, or I might fall off and not be able to get back on. My brother says he thinks of the semester like a rushing river. You just get in and keep going, because you have to. You have to keep your head up too, obviously. Any other metaphors for the semester?
4. I drove to visit TMH for the first time this semester. Part of this might be another case of bad busy. The time it takes to go see TMH is way more than driving time. Prep time takes more than one might imagine. For one thing, it requires dragging a cat unwillingly out from under the bed. The kennel is really the only place for Gemi when I am gone, so such is life. Driving to the kennel is also no fun, but it's a breeze compared to getting the cat out of her hiding spot. I love Gemi, and I love TMH, so this is the reality I have to handle. In any case, it only happens once a month. Of course the other part of seeing TMH is the good part. I was so excited to arrive last night. He had one more late birthday surprise for me: he made me a video/slideshow. He put together lots of fun pictures of us, all the adventures we have shared over the past two years, and set it to music. It made me cry- it was so sweet. He loves me.
So, here I am, back at TMH's. It seems like another life when I was living here teaching at that other school. He is at work and already I have been quite productive today. (I really just took a break to write here, I promise). It is nice to be here on Fridays and work by myself. I don't have the distractions I have at home and I can look forward to him getting home from work. It is a beautiful day here... so we look forward to a relaxing weekend.
Ok, time to crank the treadmill back up a little bit (on Fridays I am- usually- fortunate enough to be able to slow it down some).
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Birthday it up...
So, it was a good night. Thanks to everyone who helped make it a good night. It was a stressful week so I needed it. I really needed it!
I was able to get people together... almost all the people I know here, actually. People from work, people from school, people connected to people from work, people connected to me for other reasons... it was nice to feel like I have a bit of a community. Just a bit of one...
Of course it was sad that TMH wasn't here. I had to take pictures instead of him- I realized all the helpful things he does without me even asking- but that's ok. In a way it's good to know I can do it on my own. I have always been pretty independent, despite how it may seem. I also find myself feeling a bit sad now that it's over. I guess that's normal. BUT the important thing is that I feel successful. I have managed to make a place for myself here, and I have people here who care about me. That's a real accomplishment.
I best get to bed now, since my mom is coming bright and early tomorrow morning. Good night, friends!
I was able to get people together... almost all the people I know here, actually. People from work, people from school, people connected to people from work, people connected to me for other reasons... it was nice to feel like I have a bit of a community. Just a bit of one...
Of course it was sad that TMH wasn't here. I had to take pictures instead of him- I realized all the helpful things he does without me even asking- but that's ok. In a way it's good to know I can do it on my own. I have always been pretty independent, despite how it may seem. I also find myself feeling a bit sad now that it's over. I guess that's normal. BUT the important thing is that I feel successful. I have managed to make a place for myself here, and I have people here who care about me. That's a real accomplishment.
I best get to bed now, since my mom is coming bright and early tomorrow morning. Good night, friends!
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