Almost perfect...

... but not quite.

I think Shel Silverstein might have had me in mind when he wrote that poem. Although I just reread it and realized that Mary Hume did not get married because her boyfriend squeezed her too tight. I missed that in my first reading 20 years ago, when such issues weren't so pressing or interesting to me. I think I might have found someone near enough to perfect.... and I am very aware that perfection does not exist on the personal level; everyone just has to try to be good, and we all have our not-so-proud moments. Where I need some help is with my school work. Isn't it possible to write the perfect proposal?

At the moment I am afraid to finish a proposal because I know I could do better with it. So, instead of finishing it, I am looking for any and all ways to avoid it. You would think that my perfectionist self would just keep working on it, put as much energy into it as I possibly can, and then call it good enough. Oh, Sarah McLachlan, where are you? She's the one who said "there's so much more than good enough." Somehow I know in my heart that if I don't put as much effort in as I possibly can, I have an out. If things don't turn out so well, I can always say "well, I didn't put myself into it completely." So, here I am, struggling. Considering that the paper is due tomorrow, and I can really look at it as a starting point for future work, good enough is really all I can do. Isn't it always true that we could have tried harder and done a bit better? The real question is, when is it worth it? (Well, the really real question is whether my potential committee members will think it is good enough).

Sometimes we should keep our expectations high. There IS much more than "good enough" when you are talking about making important life decisions. I don't think it's acceptable for your boyfriend to be good enough. He needs to be pretty amazing. You can and should aim high. But sometimes, like now with me and this paper, good enough is just fine. It's great, actually.

(I'll blog more about my fantastic big city weekend, and all those other things that are still keeping me tired, when I get this damn paper done for real. Good enough, or average, or terrible, or whatever it is, it will be DONE. For now, at least.)