Reality?

I guess it's starting to hit me.

TMH and I were doing pretty well last week. That was the first week. I feel like now we're back to our "oh this sucks (again)" routine.

The problem(s):
1. We are busy people who don't always have lots of interesting things to say to each other, especially in the evening when we're tired.

2. He doesn't like to talk on the phone. He uses a very flat and uninterested intonation while speaking on the phone, unless he is in a particularly good mood, which is not usually the case. I don't respond well to flat and uninterested intonation (and clearly we have to talk on the phone or not talk).

3. I am not convinced he finds the minutae of my day interesting, though I usually enjoy talking about it. I have tempered it a bit because I realize it is not always that interesting- but let's face it, it's important to me. And, what else are we going to talk about???

4. When he senses that I am not so happy, he gets worried- I think because he thinks I am not happy with him specifically, which is usually not the case. Usually I am just concerned about whatever it is I'm talking about (like my classes, my schedule, my birthday, my life!), and wondering about his interest level (recall the intonation issue). I guess I think if I am concerned then he should be concerned. When he gets worried it comes across as annoyance. Imagine "what's wrong?" in a very annoyed tone, as if nothing should be wrong, or as in- "what is it THIS time?" as if I am just some nagging GF who does nothing but complain and pick fights. I don't think I need to say that of course I am NOT this type of person.

5. It is hitting me that I am back in school and the stakes are high and I am NERVOUS about the week. I am able to admit that now. He doesn't like to deal with me when I am having any of this kind of anxiety that can't be fixed easily- he's a problem solver. I would say this is the most serious problem. If you hadn't noticed, anxiety is part of who I am. I can learn to deal with it better (and I think I have) but let's face it (again)- I am a graduate student and I can expect more anxiety to come as the stakes get even higher. I don't think my anxiety is a bad thing, when I am handling it well. It really just means that I care....

5. We live 6 hours (5.5 when you're doing well) apart again, while we spent the summer living together in the same 2 rooms. We will now be seeing each other twice a month, if we're lucky. We understand that this is our reality for the foreseeable future.