It's the last week of school! Unbelievable. It is Monday, which is never a good thing, but at least it is sunny. The arrival of warm weather helps a lot.
I am a little nervous about everything this week. You might think it's a simple process of just figuring out what I need to do and doing it. Continuing on the tree metaphor... it seems like grad students are expected to stand around, gradually chipping away at the tree. Sometimes someone is standing there, telling you how to do it, or telling you everything you are doing wrong as you do it, so you feel completely incompetent. Other times, no one is there and you think you are doing great on your own, until that person comes by and says, "Yikes, no! What are doing?" Then you have to put part of the tree back and start again, feeling even more defeated. You probably got a splinter or two in the process. Other times you simply have no idea.. and you have to pretend that you do. I suppose it's that way with most things, right?
Now I have a professor who is very well-known. He is also quite arrogant and direct. So, when he gives me advice it's almost like he's showing off. He doesn't need to do that. I already know he is well-known and brilliant. His job with me is to help me learn from him. Instead I am constantly intimidated, again feeling completely inadequate. I wish professors came with a guidebook- so we could all get the most out of our interactions with them. Guessing games and intimidation do not really work well for me....
1 comment:
Makes you wonder why people like that became professors in the first place. That should be Question #1 on the Application for Becoming A College Professor:
Why do you want to become a professor here?
a. Because I get the summers off
b. Because I can puff up my own ego by damaging the egos of grad students.
c. Because I want to inspire learning and new ideas.
d. Because I have to pay for student loans.
e. None of the above
f. All of the above
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